"Raining down Manna or Chicken?"

"Mommy isn't it cool that God just dropped down the manna when the children of Israel needed it? I wish God would rain down chicken. I would love to walk out my front door every morning and find that God had rained down chicken. Especially if it were fried chicken legs." I love six year olds. They are so literal. They take God at His word. Joshua had heard the story before about God's provision of manna for the children of Israel. Joshua believes that God is the same God today that He was then. He really believes that if he asked God to rain down fried chicken that He would do it. What an encouragement to me to remember that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. If He so desired He could rain down fried chicken. I was able to explain to Joshua that this was a matter of God's provision. He had called the Israelites to live lives of obedience and total dependence on Him and His provision. I was able to share with Joshua that God is still the same God and that He provides for us with the same provision. I have recently struggled with this. A few months back Matt and I were having a financial discussion. I was sharing my heart with my husband and asking Him that if God is Jehovah Jireh our provider and since we trust Him to do all things then why does Matt have to work so hard. I was not questioning God's provision in our lives, but just experiencing a moment of fleshly thinking and maybe a little pity party. My husband had the best reply..."He is Jehovah Jireh our provider, but you are looking at His provision all wrong. He is providing, but right now He is providing strength and energy and the rest I need to accomplish all the things in my life that He has called me to. He is providing, but just not in the way you are thinking. People often think Jehovah Jireh our provider means He will provide financially, but that is not always His plan for accomplishing His purpose. Continue to thank Him for being our provider, but trust His hand of provision in our life." I had never thought about it that way. The children of Israel needed nourishment and God sent them manna. He could have conquered the city by tearing down the walls Himself and He could have done it quickly, but would that have accomplished His purposes in their lives? God was using that time in their lives to build their character, to increase their trust in Him, to encourage hearts of contentment and to conform them into His image. He provided what they needed when they needed it. And now who receives the Glory? We remember that God provided the manna. Joshua stands in awe of the fact that God rained down manna. How cool is that?...You walk out your front door and dinner is waiting. God was glorified. He was their all sufficient King, He was their provider!! And He is the same yesterday, today and forever!!! To God Be The Glory!!! My friends, trust His provision in your life. Trust that He is God and He knows what we need more than we do. Joshua's final reply to our discussion was, "We always do things God's way, because God's way ALWAYS works." Amen

"I Can't Go Another Easter Without Jesus In My Heart."

As a mother it is so fun to watch the Spirit of God drawing these precious children unto himself. Our oldest, Matthew had a full understanding of Jesus, His death, His burial, His resurrection and his own personal sin and need for a Savior at the age of 5. He asked Jesus into his heart on Easter Sunday when he turned 5. Caleb wanted to be like his brother and talked about asking Jesus into his heart for years, but footballs and subway sandwiches seemed to be more pressing than his need for a Savior until he was 8 and nothing else in this world was as important to him as having a personal relationship with Jesus. Joshua has been wanting to ask Jesus into his heart for a while, but Matt and I both felt that his understanding of sin and salvation was not complete. Easter Sunday morning I woke up my children and said, "Happy Easter Joshua!" He immediately began to sob. I will be honest, I thought he was crying because he did not get the "real" bunny that he wanted for Easter. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "Mommy, I can't go another Easter without Jesus in my heart." I asked him if he wanted to pray with me and he said, no I want to pray with you and daddy both so we waited until we got to church. He went and talked to his daddy about it during worship, but still he wanted to wait. I began to wonder if this was not to be the day of his salvation. I told him we would wait until he was ready. And then he said something that was so precious. "Mommy, I have dreamed of this day and practiced this day in my head for a long time and I know how I want it to happen. I want me and you and daddy to walk to the front and kneel at the cross at the end of the service and pray then." I was not about to take this dream away from him. At the end of the service we all three walk down front and Matt told Joshua to share his heart with Jesus and tell him what was on his heart and mind. This is what he prayed, "Jesus, you are so mighty and powerful and we praise you. We thank you that you died on the cross to take away our sins. I am sorry I have sinned and lied to my daddy and disobeyed my parents and told Caleb I never wanted to see him again. Forgive me Jesus. I want you in my life. In Jesus name Amen." After hearing the heart of this 6 year old there was no question in my mind as to whether he understood or grasped what he was doing. He got it. God had been drawing Joshua unto Himself and today was the day of his salvation. He gave it all up that day. He answered the call of His savior that day. As we stood there worshipping the Lord together I could not contain the tears. Oh the joy that flooded my soul was now pouring down my face. This is what I have prayed for since the day they were conceived. I have prayed that at an early age my children would come to know Christ and walk with Him all the days of their life. Joshua told me yesterday that since he has asked Jesus into his heart that everything seems different. He said he can see God's love for him in everything he looks at. He said, "Mommy, it is as if God is whispering in my ear all day long, "Joshua, I love you." Oh what rejoicing!!! He is whispering that in his ear all day long and He is shouting it from the roof tops and He is shouting it in all of creation. "JOSHUA, I LOVE YOU!" Easter (and everyday) we celebrate the resurrection of our Savior. Easter will also have another special place in my heart as will August 5. These are the days that 3 of my children went from death to a New life. I was able to deliver them into this world, but by the power of Jesus Christ and His resurrection HE alone is the one who can give them ETERNAL life! PRAISE YOU JESUS! "Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead."

"He is Alive and He is in Prison."

Last year on Easter Sunday we were riding home from church and I could hear my 2 year old Jacob saying..."He is Awive (alive)." And Joshua would say..."And He is in prison." I was puzzled for a few moments, but I listened and again and again they continued to complete the others sentences as they celebrated the resurrection of our Savior. After processing what Joshua was saying, I had to ask. "Joshua, why do you keep saying He is in prison." "You know mommy, that's what we say at church... "He is not dead, no He is alive and He is in prison." "Oh no buddy, we are saying..."He is not dead, no He is alive and He is RISEN." "Oh ok, that makes more sense." I tried hard not to laugh, but that was adorable. I was able to explain to Joshua that day that Jesus is RISEN and because of His resurrection we have actually been freed from the chains of sin that held us captive so actually Jesus conquered our personal prison. How amazing!! Because of His death, burial and resurrection our debt has been paid, our chains are gone, the shackles have been taken off so we can dance in the presence of our Savior. How many of us just like Joshua have heard for years the "Easter phrases." He is risen! He is not dead, no He is Alive! Resurrection power! The stone was rolled away! We say all of these true and powerful phrases because that is what you say at Easter, but do we live according to these truths everyday. Think about it for a minute. Our Savior, Jesus was DEAD, he was not breathing, his heart was not beating and God RAISED him from the GRAVE! He was no longer dead, but he was ALIVE. The big, huge, colossal bolder had move, it was rolled away and the tomb could not hold our Jesus. WHY? Because our God possesses resurrection power. The power to breathe LIFE back into his body. Do we live like we believe this? Do we trust Him to work and act in our lives with that same power that raised Jesus from the dead? Have we given him our finances? Have we given Him our marriages, our children, our health, our jobs, our loneliness, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, our worries or do we keep them tucked away behind the tomb of our flesh? If we believe God raised Jesus to a new life then we need to claim that resurrection power not just on Easter, but everyday. God is not a god that He should change his mind. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Celebrate the life of our Jesus not just with eggs, peeps, ham and bunnies, but celebrate His resurrection everyday as you walk rejoicing in the fact that we serve a RISEN Savior. The grave could not hold Him and death could not contain Him! He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

John 11:25 NIV

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies."

John 20:1 NIV

"Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to thetomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance."

"Deny, deny, deny!!"

The word "deny" is not a word that I have ever really liked. It seems like such a negative word, a word of rejection. Recently God has led me on an adventure of discovering what the word "deny" really means. I had heard of the Daniel Fast before, but never really knew what it was nor did I care to investigate. God laid it on my heart while we were on spring break vacation to explore and commit to the Daniel Fast for a week. At the time I really wasn't sure why, but I knew I had to obey. I did my research and found out that the Daniel Fast was a fruits and vegetable diet. No sugar, no meat, no dairy, no artificial sweetners, NO COKE!! The Daniel Fast is based on Daniel chapter 1 where Daniel petitions the king to eat according to his convictions and not feast at the royal table. At the end of the 10 days Daniel and his men were healthier and stronger than the ones who had feasted at the kings table. Ok, I can do this for a week!! After all if Daniel was healthier and stronger then I'm in.  I really thought I would miss the coke, but I had done without coke before so I knew I could do it. I can honestly say that the coke has not been a big issue this week. I really thought God was calling me to do this in order to become healthier, but I have realized that He has been calling me to a place of learning to deny the cravings of the flesh. I don't need any comments about this, but as you can tell I do not deny myself much. If I want a coke...I drink it. If I want a pound cake...I bake it. (No I don't eat the whole thing.) If I want a chicken biscuit...Chick-fil-a has my back. If I want it I usually go and get it. I have always justified this by the fact that I don't ask for BIG stuff. (Except for the Macbook and I did have to wait a while for that.)  I don't have the funds to go out and buy whatever I want when I want it, but delayed gratification is very hard for me. This week God has been bringing me to a place of understanding that denying myself is a spiritual discipline. I mean after all Christ denied himself his very life. Luke 9:23 NIV "Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." And right here we see that He asks us to do the very same thing. He said if anyone would come after me...(The desire of my heart is to seek after Him, so what does He ask of me)...1. deny yourself Monica 2.Take up your cross daily 3. Follow me.  I have been following Him, but without denying myself. Is that possible?? And oh the crosses I have had to bear. (Yeah right!!) Have any of them caused me to give up my very life? I don't like that phrase anyway..."I guess this is just my cross to bear." This implies that my "cross to bear" is a trial or a hardship. The crucifixion was not merely a hardship or a trial, but it was death. It was an agonizing, painful death of torture. "Yet for the JOY set before Him he endured the cross." Oh how we make light of the cross when we talk about our "cross to bear." So what does Jesus mean here? How do we take up our cross and do it daily? We are daily experiencing a death. The death of the flesh. The death of the sinful man. We make a choice to deny ourselves, we make a choice to daily die to sin and flesh and to follow Him and that is where life begins. How can we have one without the other? He says if we are to come after Him then we will deny ourself, take up our cross daily and follow Him. Right now I am denying the urge to get in the car and drive to Arby's and eat a regular roast beef sandwich with fries and a coke. Is that what He wants me to deny? No, not necessarily, but He is teaching me through this fast more about what it means to deny myself. This week I am denying myself food and coke and meat and coke, but I am also learning to deny myself selfish attitudes and careless words and thoughts of pity and worry and the list goes on and on. I am learning that it does not always have to go my way and I do not have to be right and that sometimes God calls us to give up more than our flesh desires. Wow, what a journey! All of this because He called me to give up a few things for a little while. Is it worth it? To be changed eternally...YES!! "Deny, deny, deny!"

"Understanding Your Gift."

"Mommy, God made me short so I could be a good soccer player. I was not made to play football, but I was made to be a good soccer player." These words were spoken to me by my precious Joshua this morning while he was getting ready for school. Apparently this has been on his heart for a while. Joshua is small. He didn't start out that way. He came into this world at a whopping 9lbs 10oz at 22 inches long. I thought he would be a giant, but somewhere along the way God decided that Joshua needed to be small. He may not always be small. He may shoot up one day, but in the mean time God is using his size to accomplish something even greater within his heart and life. I realized this morning when he spoke those words that he knows without a doubt that God created him for a specific purpose and he is not wasting his time being something that he is not, but instead he has found his strength, he is giving God the glory for his strength and he is working whole heartedly, without distraction to use his talent. Oh how I wish we as believers could embrace this truth. Have you ever wanted to do something that you were just not gifted to do? Have you ever tried to be good at something that you were just not made to do? For years I have wanted to be a singer. I have done solos, sung in the choir, been on worship teams and I will say that I do not have an awful voice, but this is not my gift. I was not made to sing (in public). I can speak and I can teach, but sing...it just shouldn't happen, but for so many years I wanted it to be so and I forced it. I possibly even robbed others of the blessing of serving in their gifted area because I was taking up space doing something I was not called to do. I was also stifling my own gifts and talents by spending my energy on singing instead of pouring it all into teaching and speaking. God has gifted each of us with very specific gifts and talents and as Joshua said, "We were made for them." We need to seek to find those gifted places of passion and serve in those areas. God is most glorified when we are using the gifts that He has equipped us with. How defeated and embarrassing to try to be good at something that we were just not created for? I was not created to be an athlete. I flinch and squirm when a ball is thrown to me, I bat and throw like a girl and I run with my head hanging to the side. It's just not in me and it has been quite embarrassing to reveal this lack of talent before others. Now I realize that the more you work at something or practice you will get better. I was able to stay on key for the most part when singing. I have actually won a tennis game before and I have gotten better at throwing, but I will never be what you would call a gifted singer or a gifted athlete. God has gifted me in the area of communicating. (My parents knew this early on, bless their hearts.) I can stand before a room of hundreds and never have a not one butterfly. I get so excited to open God's word and teach others what He has shared with me, but hand me a microphone and start the music and I immediately start sweating and my voice starts shaking. We have gifts and we need to look for those gifts, grow those gifts and use those gifts for the glory of God the Father. I was so blessed to hear my 5 year old grasp this concept. He is a gifted soccer player. He is so gifted in fact that instead of playing with his age group 4-6 year olds, he is playing with the 6-8 year olds and he is 5. He is just gifted. He is fast, he has fancy foot work, he has accuracy in his shots and he can see the openings and opportunities as if he had a bird's eye view all the time. More importantly, he understands that God gifts us all in  different ways and he is committed to using his gift and not try to be something that he is not.  What an encouragement he has been to me to work in the area of my giftedness.

Romans 12:6 NIV "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us."

1 Corinthians 12:4 NIV "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit."

Hebrews 2:4 NIV "God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will."

"Me, Graciously Submit?"

I use to be a homeschool mom. I miss it! God called us to put our children in public school this year. This was a very hard decision for me. Not that obeying God is a hard decision, but sometimes the things He calls us to do are hard and we have to make a choice to die to self and obey or live according to our flesh and be willing to suffer the consequences of disobedience. Matt actually heard from the Lord on this decision and asked me to graciously submit. I confess that the gracious part took a while, but I did submit. I remember the specific moment when I finally had a peace about this decision. We had "meet the teacher night" at the boys new schools and I was probably more nervous than they were and definitely more critical. After all I had been their teachers up to this point. I was having to give up control and pass the torch. More than that God was asking me to share my children. I don't like to share my children. I love them and they are mine. Well, they are His, but I absolutely LOVE to spend time with my children. So I walked into these teacher meetings with a little bit of an evil smirk and looking for reasons not to like them. (Don't judge me...I'm just being honest.) As we met with each teacher the Lord just flooded me with such a peace. It was apparent that these teachers had been hand picked by God for my children. Matthew's teacher was very organized, very serious, but very kind and loving. Caleb's teacher was fun, he was lively and he had a section in his classroom full of balls to be played with indoors. Joshua's first year teacher was amazing. She was creative, bubbly, loving and for the icing on the cake... Joshua and his cousin Abby were in the same class. This was something we had prayed for, but had been told was not an option. God showed off. Not that He has to mind you, but He wanted to. We were blessed over and above what we could have asked for. I gave mental assent that night to the fact that maybe Matt really had heard from God on this and maybe graciously submitting was not such a bad idea. I have to tell you, although a little bit ashamed to admit it, it has taken me this long...almost 8 months into the school year to really understand why the Lord has called us to this decision. Don't get me wrong, I would call all of them home tomorrow and homeschool again just so I could have my days filled with these precious blessings, but the blessing of what I have seen in their lives this year has been much more rewarding. I can remember praying over each of these boys before they ever breathed their first breath. I can remember praying and asking the Lord above all else to give them a love for Him and for His word. I can remember praying that God would use my children for His glory, that they would be a blessing, that they would be about kingdom work and that they would have a vision within their hearts that would lift high the name of Jesus and make Him known. I have seen those prayers answered this year. Not that He wasn't answering them before, but I have seen my children being called out and set apart so that God could use them. The first week of school I heard from Caleb's teacher that every chance he had Caleb would talk about Jesus. Caleb has asked this year if he could take his Bible to school and read it to his friends during recess. (I'm not sure how he finds the time since his other objective is how many girls are chasing him during recess. The count as of yesterday was 13, but Caleb says it makes him feel like a real man, so...) Caleb, even through his comedic ways and maybe even using that as a tool, has been able to lift high the name of Jesus and share His love with these 2nd graders. Joshua's biggest downfall this year has been that he says Ma'am too much. I can handle that. I received an e-mail from his teacher the other day saying that Joshua was the kindest, gentlest child with a precious heart. What a blessing. How can I not share that? And then there is Matthew who came home from school the first week and said, "Hey mom, I'm having trouble knowing how to minister to some of the kids in my class." WOW. His teacher cannot talk about him with putting her hand on her heart and she told me the other day that he has been such a blessing to her this year. A blessing!!! Those are the last words out of my mouth as my children leave each morning..."Be a blessing today!" I know you are thinking, "My goodness, she sure does think a lot of her children an she sure does brag on them a lot." Yes I do! I want you to hear my heart and understand that it is none of my doing, but ALL the glory and honor is unto Jesus who has made the difference in their lives. I take NO credit. Jesus says that as we lift Him up, He will draw all men unto Himself. As parents that has been our goal. We just lift up Jesus and He does the rest. He has drawn these precious children unto Himself and He has placed within their hearts a vision and a desire to lift up His name. Keep in mind, they are still boys and we still have our moments throughout the day. We still have plenty of reasons to invoke discipline, but God is still having to do that with me. Imagine with me for a moment what would have happened if I had not graciously submitted. (I know, I know, but just imagine it.) The Hawkins family would have missed out on some opportunities this year to be a blessing. Now I'm not saying that revival has broken out in the Auburn City Schools as a result of my children's testimony. I know God could do that, but if one heart has been revived, if one life has been encouraged, it has been worth it. We would have missed out on the opportunity to be stretched and we would have missed out on the growth He wanted to do within our heart and lives as a family. God may call us to homeschool again. I actually hope He does, but the key for me has been listening to His voice day by day, moment by moment and then submitted to His will. In this case, Matt hearing His voice and me submitting to my husband. Graciously! What is God calling you to do today? Is He calling you to graciously submit to your husband in a certain area? Is He calling you to be obedient to Him in a certain area? Be careful that you don't rob yourself and others of a blessing by standing on your own will. Graciously submit and obey what He is calling you to do today!

Ephesians 5:24 NIV

"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything"

James 4:7 NIV

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you"

John 12:32 NIV

"But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself."

"Mommy, Have You Finished The Bible?"

 

Joshua is in kindergarten and has recently learned to read. He is so excited and we are so proud. When I say he reads, I mean he really reads. He reads the title, the author, the illustrator, the title page, the dedication page and then from start to finish. At dinner the other night he said, "Hey mommy, have you finished the Bible yet?" I wasn't sure what he meant by finished so I asked "How do you mean finished?" "You know, like you have read it all and you are done with it." I explained to Joshua that it is important to read through the whole Bible and to know the whole counsel of God's Word, but that we are never finished with the Bible."You mean you can read it over and over again?" I shared with him Psalms 119:130 NIV "The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple."  Joshua and I talked about how each time you open God's Word it is new and as we unfold it and study it, God uses the power of His Word to shine the light of understanding in our hearts revealing to us what He wants to teach us. "That's neat mommy, how God's Word always has something new to teach us." I agree with Joshua. It is neat. It is beyond neat. It is supernatural. It is the power of the Holy Spirit revealing God's Word that is alive and active.Hebrews 4:12 NIV "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart"  I explained to Joshua that it is different from when you watch a movie and see something you haven't seen before or read a book and understand it differently. The Word of God is living and it is active. It is powerful and it is life changing. We can read it over and over and over again and God can use it to reveal sin, encourage passions, form visions, build testimonies, tear down strongholds, the list goes on and on. Does that not get you excited???? I got so excited explaining this to my 5 year old. I was even more excited that he understood and thought it was neat. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ this understanding of His Word should revolutionize our lives and make us ravenous for His Word. Matthew made an interesting observation the other day. We go to school and work 5 days a week to prepare to stay in this world for a short time and we go to church 1 day a week to prepare for eternity. "Something just doesn't seem right about that." he said with furrowed brow. I agree, but just as I told Joshua, we have God's Word 24/7 and His Word is always preparing our hearts for eternity. We just need to be in His Word. How could we stay away from a "book" a "letter" that is living, that is active, that is sharp, that gives light, that penetrates deeply, that judges our thoughts and attitudes? God's Word does all that and more. How can we not read it cover to cover and again cover to cover and devour every morsel asking the Holy Spirit of God to divide our soul and spirit, joints and marrow and to transform our thought and the attitude of our heart? So I ask you, "Have you finished the bible?" As I told Joshua, you are never finished with the Bible. So grab your coffee and find a cozy chair and unfold His Word. The light and understanding are there.

"I Don't Fit Here"

As I was signing papers in Matthew's backpack I ran across a piece of paper with the name of JESUS written down the side. Each letter expressing from the heart of this precious 10 year old boy how he feels about Jesus. I wondered if this  acrostic was an assignment, but instead I found out it was just something the Lord laid on Matthew's heart during free time. This is what it said...

J - Jesus has no sin.

E - Excited that He is coming back.

S - Since he loves us he gave His life for us.

U - Unbelievable creator of the earth.

S - Shocking that someone with no sin would give his life for us.

I know that Matthew loves Jesus with all that is within him, but this acrostic touched me so deeply. A few months ago Matthew and I were riding down the road when he says to me, "Mommy, I don't fit here." I was curious as to where exactly "here" was. As I dug a little deeper, he explained "Mommy, I'm different. I think different from most kids my age and I just can't find a place where I fit. I think God might be calling me to do something different. I'm not sure if it is missions or something else, but I just don't fit here and I'm ok with that." The last part of that sentence brought me great comfort, he was ok with being different. We encourage different from what the world considers normal. Even though I had great comfort in the last part of that sentence the first part caused the apron strings to want to tighten for life. Missions...really? What a calling? What a ministry? What an honor? Not my children, God. And God said..."Whose children?" My heavenly Father reminded me that these precious children do not belong to me. I am merely the steward. My children belong to God and He created them for His purposes and for His glory. He has entrusted these children to me for a short time. He has asked me to encourage, train, discipline, disciple, rebuke, correct and love these children for His glory. Will I be faithful to the calling? Will I let them go when my children say, "Here am I send me?"3 John 1:4 NIV I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.  I know he is only 10, but if God is already stirring within the heart of my 10 year old that he is called to something different, then as a faithful steward I want to do all I can to prepare him for that day. Matthew is right. He is different. He does not fit here. And I rejoice in that. We are called to be different.

2 Corinthians 6:17 NIV "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. I pray that God will continue to make my children different. I pray that they would stand out and that they would be separate.  I pray that they will bring God glory in all they do and obey His calling on their lives. I know that the day will come when I will have to completely let them go so that they can fulfill God's calling on their lives. Am I ready for that day? I am preparing and praying even now. I am praying that God will continue this wonderful work he has begun in Matthew's heart and life and that whatever the call, he will obey. How about us...will we obey? I want to be different. I don't want to fit in this world. I want to be separate. All for His glory.

"Embracing The Broken Places"

We have 4 little boys and have never had a broken bone. Broken candles, broken toys, broken light bulbs we have had but no one has ever broken a bone. We have been to the ER for a couple of x-rays anticipating a broken bone, but they were always intact. I always knew if anyone was going to break a bone it would be Jacob. After all he is the 4th brother, always the bottom of the dog pile, climbing on counter tops, falling out of windows, jumping off of furniture, I even found him standing on the top (yes the very top) of our van in the driveway. We have survived all of this without a break until Thursday night. Jacob was riding piggy back on Caleb as they were running down the hall being chased by Joshua. This game did not end well as once again Jacob found himself at the bottom of the heap, but with his elbow twisted in  such a way that it defied the skeletal system and gave into the unnatural pressure. He cried and cried, but nothing looked broken. We honestly thought he was suffering from nurse maid's elbow so he slept on it, but when he woke up the next morning with the same pain he fell asleep with, I knew it was time to seek out a radiologist. After a few tests by the Dr and an x-ray, they confirmed that it was broken. I confess, I cried. The thought of my baby being in pain was heartbreaking, but I was also very nervous as to how we would survive a 3 year old wearing a cast. After all, his favorite activity is taking a bath. As I watched that adorable little blonde head sitting very still as he cut his big brown eyes from side to side so as not to move even the smallest muscle I began to think that maybe he was embracing this place. I was right. He loves his cast. He is so proud and he is so careful. He is embracing this time in his life. "I do it mommy. I can!" This broken bone has not stopped him. He reminds us to wrap it really good before his bath and he holds it out of the tub just in case. I have been amazed at such a young age how he is truly embracing this place of brokenness. What an example and an encouragement to us as believers? Do we embrace those broken places in our lives? I don't know about you, but I often want sympathy. I want to milk it for all its worth. I want to feel sorry for myself. I confess, I don't always embrace the broken places in my life. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. I want to rejoice in my brokenness. I want to rejoice in my weakness so that Christ power may rest on me. "Rest" on me, to fall upon me and camp out there. I want to have Christ power carrying me through and his power being made perfect through my weaknesses and broken places. His grace is sufficient. We have to embrace it. We have to boast in what Christ will do as a result of those broken places. Thank you Jacob for reminding me to "embrace those broken places."

"What Does Your Cantaloupe Say?

My parents have been married for 40 years. Not just married, but happily, totally in love married for 40 years. Growing up I never really gave much thought as to why. Why?...because that's just how married couple are. I lived in a world that ALL marriages were that happy, that loving and that Godly. I entered  my marriage with those same expectations and I am overjoyed to report that for the most part it has been abundantly more than I could ask or imagine. What I have learned is that it takes work. I never really saw my parents work on it. I just thought that was the way it was. What I now know is that they worked on it and they worked hard, but the natural overflow with which they worked made it appear so easy, that it was just part of life. Tonight I was having dinner with my parents and I noticed something was written on their cantaloupe in the fruit bowl of the breakfast nook. I looked closely and in a handwriting that will forever be engraved in my memory I saw these three words I LOVE YOU and a heart with an arrow. I quickly realized what Daddy had done. He left this message on the cantaloupe for mother to find in the morning. As strange as it may seem, having a message written in fruit did not seem odd to me. We grew up with messages written in lipstick on the mirror, dry erase markers on the windshields, notes in Bibles or briefcases, notes taped to the door or steering wheel, notes written on lunchbox napkins and messages written in the fog on the mirror after a hot shower. We have even returned home to find stuffed animals holding notes that "they" wrote stating.."Monica, you might want to clean your room. Your mom is starting to get upset. Love, Teddy" They have been doing this for each other for as long as I can remember. Growing up my brother and I even grabbed hold of this love language and began to leave notes for them and for each other. I once intercepted the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and cut out clothes from the JCPenny's catalog and glued them on all the girls and left my brother a sweet note about how much I cared about him and wanted to protect him from temptation. I'm sure he appreciated it, even though he would never have admitted it as he peeled each outfit off to find that the glue has ruined the magazine. OOPS!! Anyway, what was actually working on marriage for my parents became just a part of who we were as a family. They found a love language they could speak and one that was received. Now don't get me wrong, they did other things too, like serving each other, planning sweet dates and trips, they communicated well and they made their relationship a priority among all the other demands that pulled at them. I can say I have been blessed to have such a Godly example of a marriage that brought Him glory and honor. The good news for all of us is that we can have that same marriage. We can have a marriage that after 40 years can still get giddy and creatively sneaky to write a love note on a cantaloupe. Marriage is work no matter your status. 2,4,10,25,40 years, it does not matter, marriage is work. Marriage is daily dying to self and asking God how we can minister to our spouse. Be creative!! Think outside of the box. Let them know you care. What Does Your Cantaloupe Say?

• Hebrews 3:13 NIV
  
  
  But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

• Hebrews 10:25 NIV
  
  
  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching

"I'm So Glad My Family Has No Feeling"

We joke around with our kids a lot. I mean a whole lot. You know like, "Hey mom I'm thirsty." "Well, son take this cup and go fill it up with some water from the toilet because it has way too much water in it right not." Gross? No!! We have fun. We tease, we joke, we play, we mess around all the time. As a result my children all have really great sense of humors. We have however had to encourage them to be careful as they try and joke with others. Sometimes it can come across disrespectful or inappropriate if the other person does not realize it is a joke. The other night Matthew and I were cleaning the kitchen after dinner and he said something, that I can't recall at the moment and I said, "Ha, Ha." Matthew hugged me and said, "I love our family. I'm so glad my family has no feelings." I started laughing hysterically. "Wow, Matthew say what's on your mind buddy." He laughed too and said, "Mom, you know what I mean. I'm glad our family is not sensitive and we can have fun together." I did know what he meant and I am thankful for the same thing. Just the other day I had said to a friend that I totally understand why God did not give me any little girls. Little girls are sensitive. They cry easy. They get there feelings hurt easily. Maybe not all little girls for those of you who feel like I am stepping on your little princess, but I was a little girl myself and I was sensitive. What I have noticed is that you don't have to be a little girl to be sensitive. There are lots of sensitive people in this world. As a matter of fact a good test for if you are sensitive or not might be, if in your mind you are saying, "Do you think she is referring to me?" Then chances are...I'm just saying. Now don't get me wrong, there is a certain kind of sensitivity that is good. Being sensitive to the feelings of other, being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, being sensitive to the needs of those around you are all wonderful sensitivity traits. The kind of sensitivity I am talking about is one that for many years had its ugly grip on me. It was an ungodly sensitivity. It was a paralyzing sensitivity. "Are they talking about me?  What did they mean when they said that?  I can't believe they said that to me? I thought they were joking, but do they really believe that? How dare they?" Now I realize the Bible addresses coarse joking, but I am not referring to joking that is or in any way could be considered hateful or discouraging. I am talking about good old fashioned picking!! Actually, the real heart of the matter I want to address has very little to do with the actual "picking" aspect at all and everything to do with turning over our sensitivity to God, letting go of those insecurities that rob us daily of our joy and paralyze us, causing us to believe the lie Satan whispers in our ears. God has called us to be a confident people. Confidence mind you that is found in His Word, His Will and in an intimate relationship with Him. The more we know who we are in Him, the less we care who we are to the world. Imagine with me if you will how allowing our hearts to grasps this concept could very practically change our relationships with our spouse, our children, our friends and our work relationships. Imagine if we walked so closely with our Savior and found our identity in Him that our earthly feelings were never hurt. How is that possible? Hebrew 12:14 "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord." Proverbs 19:11 "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." I actually have Proverbs 19:11 on my refrigerator. Do you know why? Because  every day I struggle with my flesh wanting to have its feelings hurt, but the Spirit of God rising up within me and saying..."A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense." And do you know what?  Before I can ever be hurt, before I can ever hold a grudge or throw a pity party I seek wisdom. Wisdom is found in the Word of God. He is the author of wisdom. Wow, how freeing to live being able to give it to him daily and not carry around the hurt. If I cried every time I didn't get my way, every time I someone called my idea stupid, every time I dropped my ice cream on the ground or every time someone spoke to me in a way that I felt was intended to hurt my feelings, I would ball up into the fetal position and start chattering a chant as I prayed for a protective covering to encase me and shield me from this world. The good news is "under His wings shall I hide and take refuge." He is my protective covering. Not necessarily from experiencing the hurt or the "attacks" but by giving me the wisdom through His Word to know how to handle them and to know that He is all that matters. That's the bottom line. When Jesus becomes all that we need (He is by the way) and He becomes the only one we are seeking to please, then we are released from being sensitive to the things of this world. I will close with this...Matthew's class has had some problems with bullies this year. They pick on whoever will be shaken. I asked Matthew if they picked on him and he said, "yes ma'am but it does not bother me." I was curious as to why he was not bothered, "When I wear a blue shirt they call me a big blueberry. When I wear a red shirt, they call me a big strawberry. I know I am not a blueberry and I am not a strawberry. I am the son of the Most High God. I don't really care what they think." He gets it. He is confident in who He is in Christ. He has found His wisdom in the truth of scripture and on that truth He can stand.  I agree with Matthew..."I'm so glad my family has no feelings." Standing firm on the promises of God!!

"Would You Like Some Cheese With That Whine?"

I had the privilege of speaking to a precious group of ladies this weekend. God's presence was truly felt and He worked in all of our hearts. While I was away, my amazing husband did all the laundry and my sweet boys put it all away. This was such an extra blessing. I walked in the door and was greeted by lots of hugs and kisses and cheers for "Mommy." I did notice however that their seemed to be a whine about the house, led by my precious little Jacob. You know the bit, "Moooommmmyyyyy, can I pleeeeaaaase have taaaannnng." Everything he said was in a sing song whine. I was so happy to be with my children and to hear their precious voices, but the whine...oh my word. I was exhausted from such an awesome weekend, but the whining led the exhaustion to seek out a very early bedtime for one and all. There was really no reason for Jacob to whine. I was home. I was excited to see him and I would have done anything he asked as long as it lined up with the Hawkins House Rules. He knew that and he was asking, but with a whine that told me he didn't believe I would do what he was asking me to do. 

Tonight the Lord brought a situation to my attention that took me to a passage of scripture that convicts me and that I pray will not be the case for us as believers today.

Acts 12:12-16

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• Peter knocked at the outer entrance, and a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer the door.  
• When she recognized Peter's voice, she was so overjoyed she ran back without opening it and exclaimed, "Peter is at the door!"  
• "You're out of your mind," they told her. When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, "It must be his angel." 
• But Peter kept on knocking, and when they opened the door and saw him, they were astonished.

This group of believers had gathered at the home of Mary the mother of John and were praying and believing God for the release of Peter from prison. They were interceding, trusting, pleading, asking God to protect and release their friend. Even as they prayed God was doing exactly what they were asking Him to do, but guess what. They did not have the faith to believe what they were asking. The answer to their prayer walked in the door and still they said "You're our of your mind." I read this and I totally don't get it. How could they spend the time and the energy praying for something all the while not believing their prayers would be answered. It seems like such a tragedy, but what breaks my heart the most is the fact that we as a church (the universal body of Christ) do this everyday. How often do we sound like Jacob? Do you ever wonder if Jesus would like to serve us a little cheese to go along with the whine? Don't misinterpret what I am saying. I know that He wants to hear from us. I know He wants us to be in a constant conversation with Him and bring everything to Him, but do you ever think asking while not truly believing in faith that He will do what He says He will do, just comes across as whining. I want to know that when I go before my all-powerful, all-knowing, loving Father, that I am doing so with the Faith that He can and He will answer. I want mountain moving faith. I want to possess mustard seed faith. 

What are you trusting God to do today? What are you interceding and asking of your Savior today? Is it according to His will? Do you believe He can do it? Watch, be alert expectantly waiting for Him to answer.  Ask in confidence, but not a confidence of your own, but a confidence in our God who is able to raise the dead, part the seas and break down walls so we can possess the land. Dear God, may we possess the faith of a mustard seed and say to this mountain...be moved. I am praying for a mountain to be moved today! Join me as we wait with great expectation. May we pray with boldness and faith so Jesus will never have to ask us... "Would you like some cheese with that whine?"