"The Secret of Contentment"

Contentment has always been a word that I have struggled with. When I was a little girl I wanted to be older, to have more responsibilities, to have more privileges. When I was in high school I wanted to be in college. In college I wanted to be married. After we were married I wanted to have a baby. There has always been something else. Some next thing that I long for. I have wanted a bigger house, a better car, a newer computer. Want, want, want!!! In recent years I have thought that my heart was more content than it ever had been before. I am so blessed and so happy and so filled to overflowing with joy. I really began to think that I had this contentment thing down pat. God has used some recent events in my life to show me that I have not yet conquered the obedience of contentment. My contentment has been very dependent on circumstances. Our circumstances have just been very good and calm for a while. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a bigger house or anything material, but I have been allowing my joy and excitement to come from the "good" circumstances in my life. So when the unexpected disappointments come along then what? Crying, sulking, bad attitudes, the desire to give up, are all things I have struggled with this week. That is not the fruit of a heart that has learned to be content in any and every circumstance. This is a heart whose contentment is controlled by circumstances. Philippians 4:12 NIV "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Paul said that he had learned the "secret" of being content in every circumstance. Why was it a secret? Because people can tell you how to be content, you can read books on contentment and still struggle with being content. The secret is learned as you seek God's word and listen to His voice. As we listen to that quiet whisper that screams so loudly in our souls we learn the secret of contentment. You see learning to be content is something that is spiritually discerned. If you look at Paul's life you see the journey to contentment. You see the growth and you see God's hand at work in his life. He says that he has learned to be content and he boldly proclaims "I can do EVERYTHING through Him who gives me strength." It is the strength of God that comes and walks us through those difficult times. Through His strength we can be content. We must be walking with Him moment by moment. Earlier in Philippians 4 Paul was explaining how we can have the peace of God in our lives, how we can not be anxious and how we should think to accomplish all these things. "Finally brothers whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Contentment begins with a right relationship with Jesus, relying on His strength and with a disciplined life of living according to His Word. I am still "learning" the secret of being content in any and every situation. I look forward to one day saying with Paul "I have LEARNED the secret of being content." How about you?

"Can I have A2 on my steak?"

There was much excitement at our house tonight. It was grocery store day so there were lots of yummy foods being unloaded today. Among those goodies was a pack of steaks. We don't eat steak very often at the Hawkins home. There are a few reasons why. One because it costs so much to buy a good ribeye and it "has" to be a ribeye (medium rare). Two, because my boys love steak, thus the first reason all over again, it takes a lot to feed those 4 little mouths. Also, and this might be a little TMI, but we can never find dental floss when we need it and you have to have dental floss after having a good ribeye. Our dental floss seems to always be used to make traps rather than to remove trapped food from your teeth. Anyway, we did have steak tonight. The Meat Store had a special 5 ribeye steaks for $20. We couldn't resist. I was doctoring up the potatoes while Matt was cutting up the steak for the boys. I must confess to you that I have a real problem with ketchup or ranch on a steak (yuck). To quote a dear friend..."That poor cow ain't never done nothing to deserve that." But my children insist on dipping their steak in something so I asked the usual steak dinner question..."Joshua, would you like A1 with your steak?" "No Mommy, but can I have A2?" I laughed that really deep, raspy, belly laugh. (A2?) What made him ask that? Why not A1? What's wrong with A1? Nothing, he just liked his idea better. After all A2 is original. No one else has A2. Then it dawned on me. I do this to God all the time. I want what He is not offering. I want something else. I want something that doesn't exist in my life. I want something new. I can never be satisfied with what sits on the plate in front of me. For goodness sake, I have steak with A1, but nooo I want A2. Now, I really don't think Joshua was being discontent or ungrateful. I think he was innocently asking, but my asking is not always so innocent. I have my dream husband, I have 4 incredible children, I drive my favorite van, I have my Macbook...I could go on and on with the blessings He has poured out on me, but guess what? I still want A2. Well, maybe not A2, but a digital cannon rebel, a new flatscreen TV for my bedroom, a hot tub (hey, a girl can dream)... Don't judge me, you know you have your list too. The truth is, I don't want to have a list. I am very content with my life. I LOVE my life. I have so much more than I could ever imagine, but I confess there are days I get caught in the trap. The trap of not being content to eat the steak, but wanting the A2 to go with it. Wanting something that is out of my reach, something that is not in God's plan for me. Why is this? Because I allow myself to take my focus off the one who died for me and blesses me beyond my imagination and I turn my focus to the electronics isle at Target. I focus on what the Jones's have and wonder why I don't have it. I am content. My heart is content and blessed beyond measure. I face a choice each day. I can receive my steak dinner with a heart of thankfulness, contentment and overwhelming gratitude or I can make my A2 list. I choose to savor and enjoy each bite. I need nothing else. All I need is Him. Thank you Joshua for encouraging me to adjust my focus and have a content heart.

Philippians 4:12 NIV

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Hebrews 13:5 NIV

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

1 Timothy 6:8 NIV

But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.

"Treasure In Heaven" (Part 2)

I have learned over the years that God blesses us because He loves us and He is a loving Father, but He also showers us with blessings in order to mold us and shape us and use the blessings to conform us into His image. I thankfully received the blessing of the van and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was a gift from God, but over the last year I have had to learn some really hard lessons that should not have been hard. We got the van the first week of July and the first event we drove the van to was our family 4th of July celebration. I made a strawberry pie that apparently was not set well and my husband placed it in the floorboard of the back of the van. When we arrived it had sloshed into a big puddle in the floor of this 1 week old van and I lost it. I was not a blessing to my husband, to my children and needless to say there was no godliness or patriotism expressed through my attitude that day. Oxi-clean came to the rescue and all was well, but this was the beginning of understanding this is a temporal blessing that will pass away one day. Now don't get me wrong, we need to be good stewards of our blessings, but if being a good steward means crying and snapping your husband's head off, then it becomes a choice to value possessions over people. About 3 months ago I came out of Walmart and had a big ding in the driver's side door. Needless to say, I was upset and vowed to never shop a Walmart again, or until I needed more laundry detergent. 1 month ago we were in Maplesville at a Homecoming service and we were visiting with some friends when I hear Jacob say look mommy and I hear scraping. He had picked up 2 small rocks and was creating his masterpiece on the side of the van. Thankfully, he does not know the meaning of elbow grease and the light scratches buffed out easily. The one that sent me over the final edge was 2 weeks ago when I walked out of Target and from the giant red ball I could see a long white scratch down the side of my van. I stopped in my tracks and said, "What in the world?" I called Matt saying that the van had been keyed and I was going to summons the surveillance cameras at Target, call the police and find who did this and they were going to pay for the damage. My loving husband calmed me down and said, "It is just a car. It is not worth loosing your peace over. You won't accomplish anything by doing all of that. We will take care of it." After returning home, Matt inspected the damage and said he did not think it had been keyed, but instead it looked like someone had been squeezing through and a purse, a belt or a stroller had scraped the side. That day God finally got my attention and showed me that He had given this blessing to me and yes I was to be a good steward of it, but not to hold it too closely or my blessing would rob me of my joy and contentment and become a source of stress and worry. The Lord has continued to encourage me to store up treasures in heaven and as Matt would say, "Send it on ahead." As we store up treasure in heaven where moth and rust and strawberry pie and rocks and keys cannot destroy, we have the assurance of knowing that we are placing our treasures in the hand of one who is a much better steward than we are and who will multiply and flourish those treasures. Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  Where is your treasure today? See where your treasure is and there you will find your heart. I am thankful for the blessing of my van, but it is no longer where my heart is. I will continue to wash, vacuum and Armor All and care for this blessing, but by the grace of God I will never again loose my peace over that which is a treasure of earth.

"Treasures In Heaven" (Part I)

Last year we knew it was "time" for me to have a new van. My old one was dying a slow and certain death and was not a reliable car for the boys and I. Matt and I had prayed for many months about this decision and Mr. Budget ( I say this with no sarcasm, but great appreciation) had it all figured out. I thought my heart's desire was a suburban. It would seat 9 and had lots of trunk space for soccer balls, strollers, soccer chairs and groceries. We looked high and low for a suburban, but never felt the peace we knew we needed to make such a decision. After my cancer treatment last summer we had to spend 5 days away from the boys for their safety. We went to South Carolina to spend some time with Matt's folks and probably put over 300 miles on their truck looking for a new vehicle. The first night we were looking, I sat in a Honda Odyssey convinced I did not want another van. After looking at this van I was in love. Skeptical that it would be within budget we went the next morning to talk with the dealer about the possibility of buying this new "dream car." Just as we suspected they looked at the bottom line of our car budget and politely laughed and told us their was "NO WAY!" We left disappointed, but also as two realistic individuals. (Well maybe 1 1/2 realistic individuals.) We continued looking and have many funny car salesmen stories that I will spare you, but that might produce a funny Dumb and Dumber style comedy one day. The next morning Matt went golfing and I slept in. When I awoke the Lord led me to these verses. Luke 18:2-5 "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with a plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!" "Interesting!" I thought, but I knew what the Lord wanted us to do. We had to go back to the Honda place. Matt called and said, "So what are you thinking about our car search this morning." I shared with him my scripture and my crazy plan to be laughed at again. The Lord was leading him to so the same thing. So we walked back into the Honda dealership and said, "You may laugh at us again today, but we are Christians and the Lord keeps laying on our hearts the parable of the persistent widow and we really feel like the Lord wants us to come back in and inquire about this van again." He did not laugh, but instead said, "Well, your chances are better today than they were yesterday because we have to move 14 vans before Monday." We sat down again and to make this already long story shorter...We left with my "dream van." They were able to meet our budget within literally a few dollars. We could have let pride stand in our way of asking and being laughed at again, but our God is in the business of making the impossible, possible. He spoke to both of our hearts separately and we obeyed together and the reward was the desire of my heart. I know it is just a car, but imagine if God cares that much about metal, nuts and bolts how much more He cares about the other details of our lives like the salvation of friends and family, the healing of your physical body or that of a child  and the spiritual health of overcoming strongholds in your life. Be that persistent widow. Keep asking. Keep knocking and listen to the Lord as He speaks to your heart and obey. Tomorrow I will share more with you about the lessons God had in store with me through this new blessing of  "my van."