Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"I Don't Fit Here"

As I was signing papers in Matthew's backpack I ran across a piece of paper with the name of JESUS written down the side. Each letter expressing from the heart of this precious 10 year old boy how he feels about Jesus. I wondered if this  acrostic was an assignment, but instead I found out it was just something the Lord laid on Matthew's heart during free time. This is what it said...
J - Jesus has no sin.
E - Excited that He is coming back.
S - Since he loves us he gave His life for us.
U - Unbelievable creator of the earth.
S - Shocking that someone with no sin would give his life for us.
I know that Matthew loves Jesus with all that is within him, but this acrostic touched me so deeply. A few months ago Matthew and I were riding down the road when he says to me, "Mommy, I don't fit here." I was curious as to where exactly "here" was. As I dug a little deeper, he explained "Mommy, I'm different. I think different from most kids my age and I just can't find a place where I fit. I think God might be calling me to do something different. I'm not sure if it is missions or something else, but I just don't fit here and I'm ok with that." The last part of that sentence brought me great comfort, he was ok with being different. We encourage different from what the world considers normal. Even though I had great comfort in the last part of that sentence the first part caused the apron strings to want to tighten for life. Missions...really? What a calling? What a ministry? What an honor? Not my children, God. And God said..."Whose children?" My heavenly Father reminded me that these precious children do not belong to me. I am merely the steward. My children belong to God and He created them for His purposes and for His glory. He has entrusted these children to me for a short time. He has asked me to encourage, train, discipline, disciple, rebuke, correct and love these children for His glory. Will I be faithful to the calling? Will I let them go when my children say, "Here am I send me?"3 John 1:4 NIV I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.  I know he is only 10, but if God is already stirring within the heart of my 10 year old that he is called to something different, then as a faithful steward I want to do all I can to prepare him for that day. Matthew is right. He is different. He does not fit here. And I rejoice in that. We are called to be different.
2 Corinthians 6:17 NIV "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. I pray that God will continue to make my children different. I pray that they would stand out and that they would be separate.  I pray that they will bring God glory in all they do and obey His calling on their lives. I know that the day will come when I will have to completely let them go so that they can fulfill God's calling on their lives. Am I ready for that day? I am preparing and praying even now. I am praying that God will continue this wonderful work he has begun in Matthew's heart and life and that whatever the call, he will obey. How about us...will we obey? I want to be different. I don't want to fit in this world. I want to be separate. All for His glory.


  1. I also pray that God will continue to work in your son's life. My son told me at 6 years old that he was going to preach the Good New (he is 21 now and is preaching). So many will tell you they are to young or they will change their mind but if God is at work they will fulfill His plan. Jer 29:11 and Eph 2:10

  2. Such a wise and Godly son. I know you and Matt are so proud of him. I have always prayed that my children would be 'DIFFERENT'. Thank you for sharing your heart !