Tuesday, November 2, 2010

"If He is my provider then why do I work so hard?"

Do you ever look at the bottom line of the checkbook and wonder how you will ever be able to pay all those bills? Do you ever feel like you work and work and accomplish nothing more than spinning that hamster wheel just a little faster? Do you ever become discouraged and have trouble seeing God's hand of provision through all the tears? I struggle with all of these things. I know that He is Jehovah Jireh my provider. I know that He supplies all of my needs according to His glorious riches, but sometimes His provision comes in different ways than I expect. God has been changing the way I view His provision. I often walk to the mailbox hoping to find His provision in the form of a large check signed GOD. In my mind dollar signs will fix it all and that would be His hand of provision. Last week the Lord revealed to me that HE is Jehovah Jireh our provider and He provides according to His will. Sometimes that comes through providing strength to work harder. He provides self-control to do without those things we think we need. He provides opportunities for us to sacrifice and give of ourselves. He promises to provide, and somehow we have defined that provision with the things of this world. The things that truly don't matter. The things that one day will pass away. We are investing in the provision of the temporal when He is calling us to invest in the eternal. His word tells us that if we have food and clothing we will be content with that. I Timothy 6:8 "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." Well, that must have been for the people of His day. There is no way He would expect us to be content with just food and clothing. Right? Matthew 8:20 says "Foxes have holes and birds have nest, but the son of man has no place to lay his head." We are called to be followers of Jesus Christ and He was content with no place to lay His head. He was not seeking worldly provision. How can we say we are following Him when we seek the things of this world more than we seek Him? Don't get me wrong, I fully believe that every good and perfect gift comes down from above. I believe that He provides monetarily and provides the things of this world that we need. I am just being very honest in telling you that there are times I stomp my feet, cry and even question..."If He is Jehovah Jireh our provider then why do we have to work so hard?" My precious husband works very hard and works multiple jobs to provide for his family. I get angry about that sometimes. I don't know who I am really angry with, but I am. I have been known to say to my heavenly Father..."If you are Jehovah Jireh our provider then why is Matt the one working so hard and going without sleep?" Go ahead and gasp. I know it was a horrid thing to pray and showed a real lack of faith, but I'm being as transparent as I know how to be. I was sharing these feelings with my husband one day and He said..."I never question God's hand of provision in my life. He says he will provide and He does and He is. He is providing me with the energy to work this hard. He provides me with strength. He provides me with opportunities to grow more like Him and He is providing me with opportunities to depend completely on Him. He IS our provider." WOW and yes I know I am blessed to be married to this man!!! Conviction ensued and yet there are days when I still struggle with this. Just last week I was "worried" about the future. Do you ever do that? I have been known on occasion to worry about the unknown. I was sharing my heart with my Savior and He revealed a precious truth to me. "My precious daughter, how can you still doubt my hand of provision in your life when I have provided the greatest provision of all. I sent my son. I HAVE PROVIDED!!" My heart broke. How could I doubt that he would provide something so simple as dollar signs when He provided a substitute for my sin? How could I doubt His hand of provision when He sent His ONLY son to die in order to provide? What kind of faith must I have? I am doubting the creator of this universe, the one who spoke and brought it all into existence. The words keep ringing in my ears...I HAVE PROVIDED, I HAVE PROVIDED!! If he chose to never provide another thing HE HAS PROVIDED!!! May I NEVER doubt His hand again. By doubting His hand, I am doubting His love and what greater love could there be than to sacrifice your son and not just give Him up, but watch Him be crucified, watch Him suffer, watch Him bleed and watch Him die. He is Jehovah Jireh our provider!!! May we live as though we believe this.

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