Wednesday, July 21, 2010

"God Makes Me Love You"

Matt and I have been married for a little over 14 years. During our first year of marriage I looked at Matt and asked the question, "Why do you love me?" I guess I was looking for some romantic answer like...because of your love for Christ, you have beautiful eyes, you are beautiful, you are a wonderful wife and an awesome cook. The answer I got was NOT the one I was expecting. "Why do you love me?" "Because God makes me!" Because God makes me, what kind of answer was that. If memory serves me correctly that night ended in tears. I didn't have this highly developed sense of humor back then. 14 year later I still ask that question, but usually as a joke. I also answer many questions with "because God makes me" just to be funny and let him know that I haven't forgotten his answer. After 14 years of marriage I now take great comfort in his original answer. He was not being unromantic. He was trying to give me the assurance that his love for me and his commitment to our marriage was out of his obedience to God and that was NOT going to change. I know that in 14 years I have done things that have not been very lovable. I know that God has had to MAKE Matt love me through certain situations and attitudes in my life. What a great comfort it has been to be married to a man who seeks to be obedient to God above all things. If only I had realized what a romantic answer that was 14 years ago. On our 12th anniversary Matt sent me an e-mail remembering the day I asked "The question" and he gave me "The answer." On our 12th anniversary he sent me an e-mail with 12 reasons why he loved me. It was precious and sweet and very romantic, but totally unnecessary at that point. He shows me through his actions, his words and his eyes why he loves me everyday. I see in him a man that loves God ABOVE ALL. This confidence and the confidence in knowing that "God makes Him love me" is the only assurance I will ever need. Who needs romance when you have obedience? Life can't always be romantic, but the assurance of obedience is reassuring. I like to pick at Matt and remind him of that day, but I also remember how silly I acted and how that answer over the years has given me the greatest peace and comfort and assurance of his love for me. It's not about anything I do, say or what I look like. It is not about circumstances being good or bad or even if he feels like loving me. It is about obedience. "BECAUSE GOD MAKES ME!"

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