"Pray With Me"

I need the prayers of my friends tonight. My precious Matthew has struggled with allergies for years. He has often said that it is his "thorn in the flesh." He prays continually that God will show him the reason for these allergies and that he will be able to use them for the glory of God. I love that he has such an eternal mind when it comes to his struggles. Please pray with me. As a mother it breaks my heart to watch this incredible young man struggle each day to see normally, to breathe deeply and to make it through the day doing normal boy activities without the aid of many medications.

"Precious Jesus, you know Matthew better than I can and even better than he knows himself. You are his creator and you know him full well. Your wisdom is vast and your purpose is true. Matthew is your child and you created him exactly the way he his. For that reason, it is your wisdom I seek in knowing how to medicate, treat and help Matthew live each day without pain or fear. God, I know how much he hurts and suffers and I know how much he relies on you for his strength. God, in the name of your son Jesus Christ I pray for healing for this precious young man. His situation has left Dr.'s scratching their heads, but you oh God are his creator and you never stand baffled. You know the reasons, and you know the bigger picture of what you are accomplishing in his life. Lord, may we never seek the easy way out and in doing so miss the blessing of your perfect will. May we be willing to endure so that your power may rest on us in our weaknesses. Lord, we are all weak right now and we are resting our heads on your chest. As he lays here beside me tonight with streaks of red down his face, eyes swollen shut and breathing shallow, I am comforted in knowing that he is Yours. I am simply a steward for a time. God I pray that you would grant sweet sleep to your son tonight and healing to his eyes. Lord, show us the answers we need to help him get better. God, provide the resources and lead us to the right Doctors. God I thank you that he hears from you and I thank you that you have placed within his heart a desire to spread the message of the gospel. Oh Lord how convicted I was when this precious young man spoke these words to me, "Mom, I am being called to missions. I know it might not be best for my allergies, but if means breathing my last breath, I want to know that I did it obeying the will of my Father." Lord, give me the same obedience that lives within my 11 year old. Lord God grant peace to his soul tonight and heal him in Jesus Name. AMEN"

"I'm Tired of Mamby Pamby Prayer Lives"

Pray without ceasing!! For some reason we see this as an option. I have to warn you that if you offend easily you might want to navigate away from this page. I'm in no mood to skirt around the issues tonight. God has called our family and our church family to a new place of obedience. It is actually not so new, but it is new to us because we have fallen so short in this area of obedience as of late. We obey the parts of scripture that are easiest to obey and the parts that appear to us as the most serious areas, but how about praying without ceasing? Do we obey in this area? It is a very christian thing to say..."I will pray for you" but how often do we really pray? It is acceptable to move forward with decisions if we say that "We have prayed about it." How often do we say these things because they make us sound obedient when in reality we forget to pray for the person to whom we promised our support and we offer up a "God help us" then we have an idea that is all ours and assume it is God's solution. Sometimes I wonder if God gets tired of us throwing things off on Him when we never really sought His face in the matter. It just sounds better to say..."God is leading me to...or God has told me to..." God has recently called our church to pray. I don't mean to say we pray and share prayer requests and tag a prayer on at the end (which we have been guilty of so many times.) God has called us to SEEK His face. He has called us to stop talking and PRAY. How dare we be so pious as to think that "sharing" with one another could be more important than praying. We have no counsel to offer aside from scripture and we can do nothing better or more than pray. Friends, this has been such a blessing and a time of conviction all in one. My heart has been convicted that I do not pray enough. Not just enough, but that I do not pray according to His word. Let me share with you some things that the Lord has taught me and reminded me of concerning prayer this week.

1. Tuesday night we were on the soccer fields and I received a text from my brother asking if Matthew could call his cousin Ashlyn. She was getting ready to go away to a camp for a few days and she was nervous. She wanted to talk to her big cousin and get some reassurance that it would all be ok. As I listened to Matthew encourage her I heard him say 3 or 4 times that he would be praying for her. I looked over and mouthed "are you going to tell her that or are you going to pray." He asked her if she had a minute and there in the van on the way home he prayed for her on the phone. She was blessed as was I that as young cousins they would encourage each other through prayer. Don't say you are going to pray, but stop and pray.

2. I was reminded tonight of a prayer I prayed years ago for someone very dear to me. Someone I loved very deeply was struggling with gratifying the desires of the flesh and I began to fast and pray that every time this person came in contact with or was tempted to sin that he would become physically sick and that he would lose sleep until he had made his life right with the Lord. It was years later that I found out that every time he began to party he would become sick at the first taste of the substance that resulted in his sin. He didn't sleep well for months. God got a hold of his heart and he lives today a changed man. Not because of me, but because of prayer. Don't be afraid to pray bold and pray big and learn the discipline of fasting and praying.

3. Last Thursday night my boys found out that a neighbor friend who is also a mentor for them was starting in his high school football game and he was nervous. We walked over to encourage him and their in his den we prayed for this precious friend. Matthew and Caleb both prayed and it was such a blessing to hear the things they prayed for their friend. They prayed that the coaches would find favor with him and give him a chance. They prayed that he would praise God when they were winning, but also when they were losing. They prayed that he would remember it was about God and not about him. They prayed for many other things that I can't remember, but the point is...Pray spirit led prayers and pray specifically.

4. The last thing I want to share is what God has been doing through our prayer time as a church. We don't share requests. We pray! God has used this to encourage us all more than we could possibly do with our words. Marriages are being lifted up and prayed for by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Wives are hearing the hearts of their husbands and learning how they can pray for them. Our God is being praised and lifted up. As we openly confess our sins before God and others through prayer we are being healed and held accountable. We are being unified as a body. God is accomplishing all of this through prayer. Why? Because that is His desire and that is His plan. We lift Him up and we communicate with Him and HE MOVES!!! Honestly, I believe in my heart that He is always moving. When we pray we become aware of how and where He is moving and we can join Him. Don't talk about prayer. Don't intend to pray. PRAY!!!

My friends we are in a battle. We have been called to war. It is a spiritual war. It is a war that is far greater, far more dangerous and far more difficult than any war this earth has seen or will ever see. The good news is we know the outcome. We know who wins the victory and we know what happens to the enemy. However, we must not get lazy and give up the fight until that final day. The battle must be fought and we must fight it on our knees. Join me!! I'm committed. It won't be easy. I have experienced more hurt, disappointment and strife in my life during these times of obedience than any other time. That is the spiritual warfare. Are we willing to obey no matter what the cost? It's worth it!! The rewards of a life lived through prayer are far greater than anything this world can offer. PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

"Smoothing Out My Feathers"

I have a confession to make. My feathers get ruffled very easily. It seems I spend a great deal of time smoothing them out. They get ruffled when everything on my list of to do's doesn't get done. They get ruffled when circumstances go one way in my mind and then another way in reality. They get ruffled when the rest of the world can't understand how wonderful my ideas are. My feathers get very ruffled when someone messes with my children or my husband. Sometimes I think it would be better to walk around as a naked bird than one whose feathers continually stay ruffled. I have been trying for over a week now to smooth out my feathers. Something happened last Sunday afternoon that ruffled me like I had never be ruffled before. I will spare you the details, but let's just say when you are helping someone who has asked for help and you become the victim it is easy to have your feathers ruffled. I'll be honest...I'm having trouble getting over it. It seems that just about the time I think I have calmed down something else happens to ruffle my feathers and this bird is squawking again. I have been reminded daily of the verse in Proverbs 19:11 "A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense." I am so thankful for this verse. I am thankful that wisdom is found in His word. I am thankful that patience is a fruit of the spirit and I am thankful that through the power of the Holy Spirit we have the ability to forgive and let go of wrongs done to us. (Even when we don't want to.) That has been my problem this week. I don't want to get over it. I don't want to walk around with ruffles feathers, but somehow I feel like getting over it would let the offender off the hook. I have even thought this week that by "overlooking" this offense I would be offering forgiveness when what was really needed was justice. This person was wrong. The words they chose were wrong. Their attitude was wrong, but guess what? I am then reminded that God does not punish me according to what I deserve. He sent a substitution to pay the price for me and for the one who ruffled my feathers. How dare I sit in judgement when He came to give His life in forgiveness? He has called us to do the same. So as I sit here today smoothing out my feathers I pray that God would continue to teach me how to be quick to forgive and slow to become angry. I pray that you would do the same.

"Confessions Of A Tuesday"

Do you ever have a day of the week that you wish you could skip? You know the kind of day I am talking about. You have more to do than you can possibly get done and yet it still must be done. Tuesdays are my skip day. However, if I skipped Tuesdays I would miss the joy of watching my favorite soccer players having the time of their lives. Have you ever noticed that the things in life that produce the most joy and satisfaction are usually those things that are under the greatest attack? Let me explain. I know that Tuesdays are busy. I could use a good nights rest on Monday night to prepare. Last night I did not get much sleep. My oldest coughed all night and needed multiple breathing treatments. As I awoke to face my Tuesday I packed 3 lunches, 3 snacks and ushered 3 boys out the door. I then made sure 3 soccer uniforms were washed and dried and by noon I was cooking supper. Yes, I said supper. I picked Joshua up at 2:30 and found a very sick 5th grader who could not stay for chorus. When Caleb arrived home from chorus at 4:00 I had dinner packed in the cooler, water bottles ready and boys dressed for soccer. We had 15 minutes to get to the soccer field for pictures. As I pulled the cooler, chairs, blankets and a bag of soccer balls onto the field my attitude was less than appropriate. I watched 2 games and 3 1/2 hours later I loaded the car knowing that we had 20 minutes to return home, shower and make it to bed on time. I thoroughly enjoyed watching my children play soccer and score goals, but I was robbed of complete joy by having a bad attitude. I grumbled and I complained all night. Well, maybe not out loud, but in my heart I was complaining. I "might" have threatened out loud to "make everybody quit soccer." That conversation is kind of blurry, but the point is I have allowed the busyness, the hectic schedule and the inconvenience of Tuesdays to steal a very real and exciting joy that comes from the game of soccer in our lives. The Hawkins family is a soccer family and we love it. You know what else we are...We are a Jesus loving family too. We love Jesus, but we often allow the hectic, busy life we live to come before Him. Oh, we say it is all because of Him, so that we can have an impact on His kingdom, but is it really? Are we using all of "this" for His glory? God has called our family to a place of reevaluating why we do what we do? Are we keeping up with the Joneses or are we obeying His calling on our lives? Are we willing to be inconvenienced and uncomfortable to obey Him or do we shy away from those things that might stretch us? Sometimes it is those very things we shy away from that produce the most joy, growth and results in our lives. I pray that we will all be willing to be inconvenienced. I want to embrace the hectic, the new and the challenging, IF that is what it takes to know my Savior more, be conformed into His image and make a difference for His kingdom. I confess that Tuesdays stretch me. I can't ignore or run away from Tuesdays. I can't pretend they don't exist. I must face them each week. There are other things God calls me to that I cannot run from, things that stretch me and call me to a place of surrendering my agenda and teach me to die to self. It is my prayer that we will all learn to embrace the "new" that He calls us to even if it means being stretched. It is in those places of obedience that we find His joy.

"Grow Up"

What goes through your mind when you see a toddler drinking from a bottle? Grow up already!!! There comes a time when drinking from a bottle is just no longer appropriate. I Peter 2:2 "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation." As infants we need milk. We are at the mercy of someone else to feed us and make sure we are being nourished. However, just as in real life there comes a time that we learn to feed ourselves, first by pinching bits and pieces, next by shoveling in the food with a fork and then learning how to prepare the food and feed others as well, so too we should follow this progression in our spiritual life. How unfortunate and unnatural would it be to drink from a spiritual bottle for the rest of your life depending on others to feed you. We must "Grow Up" in our faith and learn to feed ourselves from the meat of His word. Maybe it is because I am a pastor's wife, but I have always taken great issue with the statement "They just aren't being fed." Any obedient pastor will proclaim the truth from God's word when he is given the opportunity to speak. If he is not preaching scripture, then you need to find a new place to worship. As the scripture is opened, there is food. You have to make the choice to partake of the fare that is set before you. You must eat!! But it is not enough just to partake of only one meal a week. Imagine how weak and frail you would become if you only ate once a week. No, you have to nourish your body each and everyday and the same is true for your soul. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ we must learn how to open God's word and feed on it for nourishment. It is so discouraging to see those who have been walking with the Lord for a long time yet still dependent on someone else to fill their bottle and assist them in their feeding. I just want to scream..."Grow up." But how does one grow up? By trying!! I remember when I wanted my children to begin to feed themselves, I would break up small pieces of food and lay it on the tray in front of them. It was with much effort that those tiny pinchers began to work and grasp for those nuggets of nourishment. Once in their hand, it took a little while to make it to their mouth, but the more they practiced the easier it became. There were times that they would become lazy or tired and want me to do it for them, but as their mother who cared about their development, I could not allow them to become lazy. I encouraged and I stayed the course in seeing that they learned to feed themselves. Now, 6, 9 and 11 years later I have children who not only can feed themselves, but that can also prepare food and feed others. Yes, I am talking about physical food, but it is also true with spiritual food. I have watched my children growing up in Him and being able to take scripture and encourage, rebuke and teach others through the truth of His word. They are growing up!! We as believers should continue to grow up in Him. 2 Peter 3:18 "But grow in the grace and knowledge or our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to him be glory both now and forever. Amen." He wants us to grow! He has designed our physical and our spiritual beings to grow up in Him. May we always be found feasting on His Word so that we may become healthy and strong for the sake of His kingdom and His glory!

"Easily Offended"

Have you ever known someone who was easily offended? I know a person like that...Me! Over the years it has gotten better, but I can get offended at the silliest things. What did they mean by that? Why did they look at me that way? How dare they speak to me that way? It offends, it hurts, it festers and left untreated it can allow a root of bitterness to grow. I was recently offended. My feelings were hurt. I felt that I had been treated unjustly. I was sharing this with my dearly loved, wise friend who is my confidant. She shared with me that Lord had been teaching her "how NOT to be offended." She explained that it was a choice. We can choose NOT to be offended. What a freeing concept! My 11 year old recently lived this concept out in his own life, thus encouraging momma bear to do the same. Matthew is in the fifth grade and recently he asked a question in class. The substitute teacher for that day was VERY ugly to him and got in his face embarrassing him in front of the whole class. I did not feel that his question was out of line and I asked him how he responded. He said, "I just said, yes ma'am and let the class laugh." Well momma bear broke out the claws and was heading to the school to have a talk with the administration. That was to be this substitutes LAST classroom experience. Matthew begged and pleaded with me not to address the issue. "Mom, maybe she had a bad day. Maybe she thought I wasn't paying attention. I can get over it and let it go. I don't mind if the students laugh at me. I can handle it. Just please let it go...I don't want you to be known as 'that parent." Matthew made a choice NOT to be offended. He was letting it go and laying it down. Proverbs 19:11 says "A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense." It is to our glory to overlook an offense, to forgive and move on, to decide not to become bitter. So often for me, my offenses are born out of pride. I think of myself more highly than I should. I am not saying to let people run over you, but remembering a quote I once read, "The only right we have as Christians, is the right to give up our rights." I like to stand on my rights. I like to think I am above persecution, ridicule and being spat upon. Jesus was not above these things. He lived and walked just as we do yet without sin and he was not exempt, yet He did not revile and He did not hold a grudge. He chose NOT to be offended. He chose to forgive. The next time you are treated unjustly, unfairly or someone hurts your feelings, remember you have a choice. You can choose to NOT be offended.

"Worry Free"

Our 6 year old, Joshua, is our confident, independent, conquer the world child. I had no worries about him going to 1st grade because Joshua can handle pretty much anything. About 2 weeks into school Joshua began to experience what the Dr. labeled as anxiety attacks concerning school. He would cry every morning and every night, he would have tummy aches, his chest would hurt until he could not breathe and he would bite on his fingernails every time you mentioned school. It was becoming a very debilitating situation. One particular morning as he left for school sobbing, I closed the door behind him and did the same. I began to intercede on behalf of my precious little man and I had friends who were being prompted to do the same. I called Matt and ask if he would go eat lunch with Joshua and check on him. As they ate lunch together Matt began to share some scripture with him. Matthew 6:25-34"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt explained to Joshua that the Bible says do not worry and if we worry we are sinning against God and His word. Joshua replied, "Oh I didn't know worry was a sin. I guess instead of worrying I will just pray." Each day began to get better and better and just this week Joshua informed me, "Hey mommy, I'm over that school thing. I realized that I was worrying about things that may or may not ever happen and that is worry so instead I just pray." Wow, what a lesson that has been etched into the heart of my 6 year old and transformed his life. How many of us as adults "struggle" with worry on a daily basis. All it took for Joshua was to recognize it as a sin and decide that instead of living in sin, he would pray and lay it at the feet of His savior. I think this is what Jesus was referring to when he talked about "childlike faith." Joshua takes God's Word seriously. He doesn't want to live in sin. He wants to honor and please His heavenly Father. It is my prayer that we too can learn a lesson from the testimony of a 6 year old and refuse to live in the daily sin of worry and choose to live worry free as we pray and seek the heart of our Father concerning each and every situation.

"The Reward Is The Fun Part"

On occasion I have heard people say that they like to exercise. I don't understand that. Who really LIKES to exercise? I like the results from exercising, but I do not like the actual exercise. It is hard work. It makes you sweat and hurt and it is no fun. There are other things in life that can be just as difficult. Yard work for example is a pain, but the end result is a gorgeous yard. Over the years I have learned that marriage is the same way. Marriage is a lot of work. It requires a lot of effort. It calls us to die to self, lay aside our own wants and desires at times and serve someone else. Sometimes biting our tongue, letting go of our rights and deferring to someone else is just plain hard. But, the reward of an incredible marriage is so worth the effort. The things in life that produce the greatest reward usually costs us the most effort, work and sacrifice. I was reminded this week that even Jesus had to go through work, effort and sacrifice as he hung on that cross. He didn't want to be there. He even ask His Father if this cup could pass from him to please do so. In other words, if there is any other way please spare me from this grief and yet scripture says in Hebrews 12:2 "for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross." The joy was not found in the moment, but for the joy that was set before Him. For the joy that was to come, He endured the cross. It says that He endured... What are you enduring today? Are you enduring a hardship, a rebellious child, a distant spouse, an estranged friend, a financial trial? For the joy set before you, endure this time. The reward is always the fun part. I have been watching what I eat and been on the elliptical for 3 weeks and I have lost 13 pounds. I will be honest, I hate it. It is hard. It is discipline. It is training my body and my mind to think and act differently. The same is true in other areas of our lives. We have to choose to NOT react in the way that comes natural to our flesh. We must choose to be obedient to scripture and live a life that is above reproach. Sometimes it is hard to bite our tongue with our spouse. Sometimes it is hard to serve when we feel like being selfish and doing for ourselves, but the reward of a loving marriage that honors Christ is far greater than the effort we have put forth. For the joy set before HIM... Choose today to give it all you have and watch and wait to see the reward that God has promised to those who obey Him.

"Parenting Wisdom For Today"

There are some parenting issues that seem to be no brainers. Yes, you have to brush your teeth. No, you may not play in the road. Yes, you have to wear underwear. No, you may not have a swiss cake roll for dinner. Common sense kicks in and makes these decisions for us, unless of course we are exhausted and we feed our children sweets and send them to bed without underwear or brushing their teeth, but for the most part this is the exception and not the rule. Then there are those things that just do not have a concrete answer. For example, potty training. We can read tips, ask friends and try different technics, but there is no right or wrong way to potty train our children. It's just what works for that child. With our first son we tried the cereal method. You place circle cereal in the toilet and use it for target practice. The problem for a 2 year old ensues when the same cereal is in a bowl on the breakfast table. Confusion strikes and that novel idea no longer seems so great. If only potty training were the only gray area in parenting, but we find ourselves faced with many situations that cause us to seek wisdom from outside of ourselves. The problem with this search however is the fact that all of our children are different and what is wise direction for one child may not be wise for another. We find ourselves seeking wisdom this week where our Joshua is concerned. Joshua is my confident, self assured, can handle himself in any situation child. I have often said that if Joshua was lost in downtown New York he would know just what to do. He may be able to handle New York, but first grade has been a whole new world. He has an amazing teacher and a great group of children in his class. He is very smart and is a really good kid. However Joshua has begun to have anxiety attacks due to school. He has had tummy aches, his chest hurts until he can't breathe and he bites his nails and cries at the mention of school. Further research has taught us that Joshua puts a lot of pressure on himself. He is terrified of doing anything to get in trouble and has cut some friendships short because...and I quote..."I don't want to get in trouble by association." We are working closely with his teacher, counselor and principal to encourage Joshua towards personal freedom and learning to enjoy school. Their wisdom and counsel has been encouraging and appreciated, but we would be amiss if we did not seek our ultimate wisdom from our Almighty Father. He created Joshua and knows him better than we do. He knows what is going on in that little mind and heart and ultimately He is the only one who can heal those fears. Caleb has been a great encouragement to Joshua this week as he has been looking up scripture and sharing it with his brother. His favorite verse is Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God." I have been so blessed to watch these precious brothers encourage and pray for one another. We are praying for and with Joshua and we are memorizing scripture with him as we seeks God's wisdom concerning his anxiety. Yes, we are taking practical steps at school to help him, but we are seeking God's wisdom. Just as in potty training, you pray and ask the Lord to guide you in what works best with your child but you don't leave them in diapers hoping for a miracle. With each of our boys we prayed and potty trained a little differently but we took steps to encourage bladder discipline. The same is true in every parental area we face throughout the years. It may not make sense to everyone else. It may not make much book sense, but as Godly stewards of our children we must seek God's wisdom and ask for direction in how we encourage, discipline, guide, direct and help our children through the different phases of their lives. These are not just coincidental phases, but these are the things that God brings into the lives of our children to mold and shape their character and make them into the children of God that He desires them to be. This is only accomplished through His wisdom and guidance. The next time a situation arises in the life of your child that causes you to scratch your head or throw up your hands, seek the wisdom of our all knowing Father. Ask Him for guidance and direction and watch Him work so that we can give Him the glory, honor and praise for the work He has done. That is where we are today. Seeking and waiting!

"In My Weakness..."

Just as the band plays "that old familiar song" I too am singing a song today that I'm sure you have heard me sing before. Once again I have decided to "deny myself" by giving up something. This time Matt and I are doing it together. Two weeks ago God began to stir within our hearts that we needed to really seek His face concerning an upcoming event within our church. The last time this event was before us God called us to 40 days of corporate prayer as a church body. This time Matt and I felt that God was asking us to step it up a notch and give not only of our time, but to sacrifice in a way that required more from our flesh. He has called us to do the Daniel Fast for 40 days as we pray and prepare for this event. Before you begin to pat us on the back, make wagers as to if we can complete this or start condemning us for openly discussing this "fast" when the Bible says not to advertise it, let me share a few things with you. For us this is not so much a fast as it is bringing our bodies under the control of the Holy Spirit and learning to honor God with what we put in our mouth. Now, don't think for a minute that a medium rare ribeye properly seasoned cannot honor God if prepared properly and eaten in moderation, but for a time Matt and I have felt led to limit what we partake of. For the record I would also like for it to be known that this is ALL God and none of me because you don't get to be this curvy just eating fruits and vegetables, 'so obviously' this was not my idea. Today is day 12 and already I have had 2 days of total and complete weakness. I have even threatened to cancel the upcoming event if it means I can't have a Coke. But guess what, "In our weakness, He is strong." Even though my heart and flesh may fail and I desire to partake of the worldly fare, my Heavenly Father has been my strength and allowed me to stand steadfast in my commitment to Him. I am finding once again that the greatest lessons are not always learned in the answer, but in the wait that comes before. It seems that many times in my life God has placed me in the "Wait." We often see those times of "wait" as a punishment, a cruel joke or wasted time, but in reality the "wait" can be the greatest lesson of them all. I can think back on many times of waiting. I waited for God to bring me a mate, all the while He was preparing me and Matt for that destiny. Oh, how thankful I am for those days of waiting that brought us both to His feet and allowed us to first love Him intimately. I waited and waited to become pregnant, learning more lessons during that wait than I could have thought possible only to be blessed with 4 precious boys. Sometime layering the "waits" God was teaching me multiple lessons as over the years I have awaited test results from Cat-scans, MRI's Blood tests, Biopsies, not only on me but sometimes my husband and once my small child. Thinking that God would receive the greatest glory when the answers came and then realizing that the greatest lessons came in the time He called me to wait because sometimes the answers did not seem so great. We miss so many teachable moments by worrying away the days of waiting, when God desires for us to embrace the wait and sit at His feet. He is always teaching us. I believe that sometimes He allows the wait to remain until we become pliable and learn the lesson He had planned out for us. So today, once again I find myself in the wait. I am excited to see what God is going to do through our upcoming event, but I am even more excited to learn from Him each day as I rely on His strength. That is where I am today. I am weak, but He is strong. I want a coke, but because of His strength I am drinking water. My prayer this morning was "God show me your lesson plan for today. I don't want to miss anything you have for me." I don't want to check the "days of duty" off and miss the abundant blessings of obedience as I wait on Him. What is your wait today? Has God called you to a new discipline in your life? Are you waiting on a mate? Do you long to hold a child in your arms? Are you awaiting test results from your doctor? Maybe it is a financial need that you are trusting God to take care of? Whatever the weakness, allow Him to be your strength. Whatever the "wait," ask Him to teach you, mold you , shape you and allow you to remain until His will has been accomplished in your life. Sometimes the "wait" can be the most precious time you ever spend. "In our weakness, He is strong."

"Señor Chatterbox"

Allow me to introduce you to the sweetest sound I hear ALL day long. This is my precious Jacob. He has been known by other names throughout his 3 1/2 years. For a short while he was affectionately known as Taz. I think he got that name shortly after the vaseline and baby powder incident. For his entire 3 years he has been known to his brothers as "my baby." He is also stinker, little stinker, buddy, little man and this week he is Señor Chatterbox. Jacob has always been loud and no one in our house ever seems to be at a loss for words, but recently I have discovered how much Jacob loves to talk. I think it is because there is no one left at the house to talk to but Mommy. We have some amazing conversation. Well, actually it is more like ONE amazing conversation from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed. Don't get me wrong, I love the sound of that precious voice. There could not be a cuter voice in the whole world. I love that he wants to share every detail of all that he sees, hears, feels and thinks with me. I love that when he doesn't have the answer he says, "I can't know." One day all too soon, I am afraid that little voice will grow into the voice of a man and that little boy that pours out his heart to his mommy will share his deepest thoughts with someone else, but for now I will cherish and enjoy it. It makes me think that when Jesus said, "Pray Continually" he too enjoys hearing the voice of His children. Have you ever thought that we are the sweetest voice He has ever heard? He delights in the praises of His children. He wants to have an amazing continuous conversation with us ALL day EVERYday. My fear though, is that much like Jacob we only talk His ears off when there is no one else to talk to, no one or nothing else to distract us. We talk to everyone that is around, we exhaust the list of people on our cell phone list and when there is nothing on TV and our ipod is dead, then we talk to HIM. I love to hear Jacob say, "Hey Mommy..." And I know that my Father loves to hear me say, "Hey Father, Papa, Abba, Daddy..." followed by whatever is on my heart. He already knows, but He loves to communicate with His children. He never tires or grows weary of hearing the sound of my voice. So often we think of "prayer" as such a formal, churchy word. It becomes something we do or we say. Prayer is defined as simply "a form of communication." Talking is a form of communication. Jesus desires for us to "talk" to Him all the time. It is not something to be crossed off our list of things to do, but rather a means of knowing and being known by our Savior intimately. We learn every detail and every inmost thought and feeling by communicating with someone. That is the relationship we desire with the one who gave His life for us and that is the relationship He desires from us as well. Just as Jacob has affectionately become my little Señor Chatterbox we too need to desire that nickname from our heavenly Father as we continually pour our heart out to Him All day Everyday!!

We Don't Serve A Sugar Coated Jesus!

Have you ever noticed that things covered in sugar just seem to be better? It is obvious they are sweeter, but given the option most of the time children will choose the sugar coated choice. I must confess that yesterday I indulged in a cupcake from a local bakery. It was a yellow cake with lime icing with sprinkles of sugar on top. Oh my goodness is all I can say. I also love those sugar coated sour jelly beans and sour patch kids that are in fact covered with sugar. Sugar coated things just seem to make us happy. Mary Poppins even said that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. I will be honest, if my children need medicine I am not going to chase it down with a spoonful of straight sugar. HELLO! What kind of mother am I? Instead we have a glass of coke after taking medicine. It does in fact help the medicine go down. As I was enjoying my sugar coated cupcake yesterday I began to think that as believers we have become very much like the sugary goodness we indulge in. We have come to a place where we sugar-coat everything and we call it grace. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for grace. After all didn't Jesus say that is what He came to bring and that we too should offer grace to one another. We need grace, I need grace and we need to offer grace to others, but what is grace exactly. Is grace standing by and allowing others to live in sin all the while seeing, knowing and recognizing and saying nothing? Scripture is clear that we are to offer a gentle rebuke to our fellow believers. Grace is actually being given something that you do not deserve. So does that mean loving someone who has hurt us? Could that be considered grace? Could it be biting our tongue and not giving the other the person the tongue lashing they deserve for what they just said to us? I think often times as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ we mistake offering grace for the absence of truth. We do not serve a sugar coated Jesus. Jesus did not mince words. Jesus did not use feel good phrases and give pats on the back and call it grace. Jesus spoke the truth and said that the truth is our key to freedom. Jesus turned over tables, cast out demons and recognized sin as such. He spoke with boldness and clarity never holding back for fear of where it would take Him. He knew from the beginning what the end for Him would look like and with reckless abandonment He proclaimed truth and as a result He is the only person throughout history to have changed millions upon millions of lives every day. He never sugar coated anything. How would it have sounded had Jesus decided to sugar coat the very words that He came to give His life to proclaim. Matthew 5:29 sugar coated version - "I have trouble sometimes too with my eyes causing me to sin. Sometimes I wish I didn't even have eyes and then I wouldn't be so tempted." Matthew 5:29 as Jesus spoke, "If your right eye causes you to sin GOUGE it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." My friend there "ain't" nothing sugary about that. As believers we want to help our brothers and sisters in Christ make justification for what they are doing and I am often guilty of doing this by saying, "I have struggled with that too." Struggled??? What does that even mean? I AM A SINNER JUST LIKE YOU. That is the truth of the matter. We both need to gouge our eyes out! We are called to be His disciples. We are called to follow Him and proclaim the message of truth that He delivered and that He died for. God is convicting me that we don't have time to teach, preach and share a sugar coated gospel. We don't serve a sugar coated Jesus. We must proclaim His word with boldness. Yes, we continue to offer grace, but we are not equipped to offer eternal grace. We can only point them to the one who can. We can offer circumstantial grace as we give to others what they don't deserve. Eternal grace is only His to give, but we are the matchmaker, the arrow, the neon sign introducing them to Jesus. I confess that I sugar coat things way too often. I am praying that God will give me clarity of speech and a boldness to proclaim His truth without the fear of man. His word is sweet enough like honey from the comb, proclaim it just as it is. There is no need to sugar coat it.