"Washed Away"

I must confess to you that I have a problem! I have a bath fetish. Not just a fetish, but an absolute need for all those living or visiting my house to take a bath before bedtime. I have been known to pull into the drive-way at 10:00 p.m and wake up my precious boys who had fallen asleep in the car and make them take a bath before returning to bed. It has actually become a joke among my friends that if your children are here for any length of time they will get a bath. Their parents are scared to linger too long at our house in the evenings for fear that "everyone" will be forced to take a bath. Now, one reason  for this fetish is that I like for everyone to smell clean, but I also do not like to do laundry so going to bed clean cuts down on how often I have to wash sheets and pajamas. Makes since to me! Apparently this is a learned behavior, but it is possibly herditary, since my children all like to be clean. (I know...4 boys?) They shower or bathe before bed and they shower when they wake up. If there is ever a time during the day that Jacob gets really quiet, I can usually find him in the back taking a shower. We all LOVE to be clean. I love the ring that is left behind in the bathtub because that shows that the dirt was washed away. It also means I can get out the clorox and I love to clean with clorox. (I told you I have a problem.) As much as I have a desire to see my children clean, I have an even greater desire to see that their hearts and minds are clean as well. I want the dirt in their heart to be "washed away!"  Psalm 51 is such a beautiful picture of what I desire for my children. Psalm 51:2-7  "Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts, you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleans me with hyssop (branch used in sprinkling blood) and I will be clean, wash me and I will be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me." As parents we know that our children can and do sin. God has placed them in our loving hands to teach them the truth of His word. Now, I don't go around saying..."You little sinner!" But, I do point out the things in my children's lives that are sins and we define them as such, but it does not stop there. It is not enough to just say... you lied to your brother and that is a sin. Then they walk away going, "Oh, ok, so I sinned." We must teach them the rest of what God commands them to do. They must confess that sin to God and ask for forgiveness and confess that sin to the one they sinned against and ask for forgiveness. Then we can guide them in how they should have handled the situation. Wow! This parenting thing is a lot of work. It is not for the lazy, but it is absolutely worth it when we see our children growing in righteousness and having a heart for the things of the Lord. When I am bathing my young children I pray that the word of God will wash over them and wash away the sin and the dirt of their heart. Daily I pray that my older children will learn to identify the sin in their life and be convicted to confess it by the prompting of the Holy Spirit, not the prompting of Mom. The next time you are standing under that warm shower and the water is soothing your aching back, pray and ask the Lord to use His word to soothe your soul and wash you whiter than snow. The next time you fill up that tub full of water and bubbles to wash your precious children, remember the blood that Jesus shed on the Cross so that our sins could be "washed away." May we never look at bathing the same again. May it become symbolic of the cleansing our hearts and souls have received through Jesus Christ, the one who came so that are sins could be "Washed Away!"

"No, No, My Wock (Rock)"

Tonight we had back to back soccer games! During the break Jacob and I decided it was a good time to walk to the potty. On the way back from the potty, Jacob stops in his tracks and began to sob. Being the loving, caring mother that I am...I kept walking and said.."Come on. Run. You're ok. Stop crying. We are going to watch Caleb's soccer game." I walked on thinking I would call his bluff, he would see that he was alone and he would run to catch up. He continued to cry and stand in place. I decided I had better go and see what was wrong. The closer I walked the more I could see how deeply hurt he was. When I got to him he said, "Mommy, me drop rock. Me find it!" So, I helped him look and look until we found what he thought was the lost rock. He picked it up and said, "My rock! Now me can run!" He had lost his cherished rock and he wasn't taking another step until he found that which was lost. His mind was made up, he was standing firm and once he found his lost rock, he could run again. Remind you of a story from the Bible?  Luke 15:4-6 "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep."

Jesus, our shepherd cares about His children so much that He will wait and seek after the one that is lost. Isn't that a comfort to know that He loves us that much? Yes, this is comforting, but it is also an example to us told as a parable so that we might learn a lesson. When was the last time you stopped and put everything on hold to find one of those lost sheep? When was the last time you even allowed yourself to be inconvenienced for the sake of speaking a kind word to the clerk at the grocery store or helping an elderly person unload their groceries into their car. We are so "busy" and wrapped up in ourselves that we rarely stop and take the time to help others, much less intentionally going out and looking for a "lost" sheep to take home and rejoice over. There was a time that I prayed and asked the Lord to bring people in my path that I could minister to. I prayed that the Lord would make me sensitive to the needs I saw in others and He was always faithful to bring those people. I never saw it as a inconvenience, but I also did not have to "sacrifice" much except for my time. Pray with me that the Lord would begin to bring people into our paths that we can serve and minister to. We can also take it a step further and pray that He would bring people into our "lives" that we can minister to. (This takes a greater commitment.) It has been a while since I have had the privilege of introducing a lost sheep to their shepherd. It's Time!! "Thank you Jacob for reminding Mommy to "seek that which is lost."

"Mommy, I'm Scared"

"Mommy, I'm scared, can I sleep with you tonight?" Do you ever hear those words at your house? I've heard them 3 times already tonight. I'm an old softy and want to say "Sure baby!" This is not because I am the  gentler, caring parent, or even because I am mommy. It is because I too struggled with fear for most of my life. I totally get it! I can remember being a very little girl and waking during the night afraid and the longer I laid there, the more noises I heard and the more afraid I became until I was confident that there was an entire army of "bad guys" lurking outside my bedroom, waiting to do away with me. This fear carried over into teenage years as I walked in fear day and night. Even as an adult I have struggled with fear. I have feared the loss of a loved one, the loss of a child, the loss of my husband, car wrecks, running out of money, those I love hurting me, losing a job, poor health, the dark and even mice and roaches. Fear has consumed my life for many years. I do not boast in this statement or say it with pride, but with much regret, as I have wasted many precious days "worrying" and "afraid" over the things in life that are what we like to call the "what ifs." My precious Matthew reminded me last year as I said, "I am afraid and worried about..." "Mommy, to think this way is to dwell on the "what ifs" of life and that is the same as worry and the Bible says not to worry. It also says in Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things." So mommy, think on the things that are true and you will not be afraid or worry." Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking the same thing I was thinking, "WOW." He is 10 and he totally gets it. I stood that day before my son humbled as I heard his words and took them to heart. It was that day that the Lord began a process in my life of being obedient in the area of worry thus claiming the victory in that area. I began to wake up each morning and say "Ok God what do you have for me today." I began to trust Him because of what he has done and I began to replace those worries with promises from His word. "Taking captive those thoughts and making them obedient to Christ." For some reason this was easier in other sin areas of my life. I never really saw my "Fear" as a sin. I saw it as a "struggle." Using my gift of justification I reasoned that there was a difference between a sin and a struggle. God began to show me that there was NO difference. They both broke His heart. This is what my fear was communicating to God  "God, I don't think you are big enough to handle this." Now, I would never have verbally said that, yet with my actions and the attitude of my heart I spoke those words loudly each day, thus grieving the heart of my savior. He hung on the cross to conquer our sins. Two of these sins being fear and worry. My friend, what is your fear today? What are you fretting and worrying over? What do you lay awake stressing over at night? Is your God big enough to handle it? Did He die to conquer it? I encourage you to do today what it took me 36 years to do. Recognize that worry and fear are sins, confess them before a loving Father, be obedient to trust Him in all things and walk in victory! It is the most freeing, trusting, light place to be. I walk lighter each day. I walk in confidence knowing that I am no longer in control (never was, just thought I was) He is! Lay those fears and worries at the foot of the cross. Rest in His loving arms and as you dwell in His presence you will never again have to say..."Father, I'm scared."

Amy Carmichael "If I covet any place on earth, but the dust at the foot of the cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

Contact

To inquire about speaking availability and fees contact Monica Hawkins via e-mail at mommyof4brothers@gmail.com.

"Homecoming Day"

Do you have a special place in your heart that when you think about it...you get a warm, fuzzy, loving feeling? Today my family spent the day at that very place. We spent the day with a group of people who are very dear to our hearts. 10 years ago we went to a little town I had never heard of, to pastor a small church in the country. Now, I had been a city girl all of my life except for 2 weeks each summer that we spent out in the country with Grandmother and Granddaddy. I was very apprehensive about living in the country, but God placed us in the love and care of some of His precious children. We lived there 4 years, saw 2 little boys born there and felt loved and secure in the company of friends who quickly became family. Today we had the privilege of returning to our little church in the country and preaching their homecoming service and let me assure you there is nothing "little" about this little church. We were welcomed like long lost family; arms opened wide, a banquet feast fit for a king and flattering invitations to return to the country. Although God has placed a definite call on our lives to serve Him in Auburn and we LOVE it, I know that these precious people will forever be in my heart and be family. I was reminded today of the love that we share in the bonds of Christ. When hearts are bound together by the love of Jesus, there is a bond that exists that is as strong if not stronger sometimes than that of earthly flesh and blood. That's what  HEAVEN will be like! We will all be together worshipping our Savior, arm in arm, all in one accord (Not the Honda). Today made me even more homesick for our home in Heaven when we will not be separated by death, denominations, associations or individual buildings. We will worship as one. I will close with a portion of the song they sang today that gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling inside because it brings back treasured memories.

"Homecoming Day, what a wonderful morning, when we get home, when all of God's children from all of the ages meet on that day. Millions of voices, singing praises to Jesus, what family reunion, sweet, sweet communion, Homecoming Day."

I Thessalonians 4:16-17 "For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with aloud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever."

"True Victory"

WARNING: This blog post is not funny in any way, but a transparent look at what God is doing in my personal heart!

We all love a good victory and we love to talk about it long after it is over. My boys all returned home wet from watching the Auburn Tigers play football in the rain. They came home early celebrating Auburn's impending victory. To quote Joshua "We were creaming them so we came on home." We all love to boast in our victories. I love the word "victory" but recently God has been changing the way I view the victories in my life.   Matt and I had the privilege of attending Lakeview's preaching class reunion this weekend. We look forward to this each year because it is such a sweet time of blessing and refreshing for us. Each year the ladies (all ministry wives) have a special time of sharing and praying for one another. In years past I have shared with them some of the things I have struggled with such as fear, church struggles,  health and worry. This year I was happy to provide a praise report that 2008-2009 has been a year of victories for us in so many areas. I have been reading Jerry Bridges book Pursuit of Holiness and last night I became very convicted about my praise report of victories. I realized that "I" was becoming conceited about the victories. I was more concerned about becoming victorious in these areas than I ever was about grieving over the fact that these were sins in my life. Victories come out of obedience to God. I never saw it that way before. I was "waiting" to be free from these things in my life that had me bound and I was "waiting" on God to take them away, when all the while He was waiting on me to be obedient. As we are obedient to God and His word in thought, actions, spirit and in words, we do become victorious over sins, but it is to His glory. It is my prayer that I will be more concerned about the fact that I am grieving the heart of God by sinning than I am about "gaining" these victories in my life. I want to walk in obedience to Him thus winning the victory over sin, but for His glory not for my book of victories. May we all walk victorious lives as we obey Him all the way, right a way and with a happy heart.

I Corinthians 15:55-58 "Where, o death is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that you labor in the Lord is not in vain."

"How much does the $5 footlong cost?"

Tonight Matt, Matthew and Caleb had soccer practice. With 3 out of 4 boys playing soccer, we are on the fields 5 nights a week. They decided to stop and pick up a Subway sandwich on the way home. (No, I did not have a hot 3 course meal waiting on them tonight. I was at a Miss Patty Cake Concert. More on that to come later.) Anyway, while waiting in line Matthew asks the question..."How much does a $5 foot long cost?" This is now our new Matthewism. No he is not air headed or ditsy, he just asked the wrong question. How often do we do this in our spiritual life? How often do we ask the question when the answer is in the question? For Example: Is this something I need to pray about? Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God ." Do you think God would want me to share the gospel with this person? Matthew 28:19 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Is it ok to lie in this situation? Colossians 3:9 "Do not lie to each other."  James 5:12 "Let your yes be yes and your no be no or you will be condemned." Do I really have to give 10% back to the Lord?  Malachi 3:10 " Bring your whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Do I really need to go to church? Hebrews 10:25 "Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching."  God's word has provided the answers we need! His word is our guide, but how often do we seek answers to our questions from an outside source? (friends, neighbors, magazines, self-help books, websites) God wants us to seek Him while He may be found and KNOW Him and KNOW His word. He has the answers! He IS the answer! So when you find yourself asking..."How much does the $5 footlong cost?" Remember where you need to go to find the answer to your question.

"Picky About His Clothes"

My sweet Joshua is sooo picky about his clothes. Long sleeve shirts have to stop right at his wrist. If a shirt has a big neck he has to wear an undershirt. If a button down shows any of his chest he will button the top button. (you know Steve Urkel style.) Shoes have to be double knotted and tight. Pants cannot be loose in the waist, they must fit extremely tight. Socks have to cover his ankle and fit his heel perfectly. OK seriously, these are the rules we deal with everyday. He is picky about the way he is clothed. My prayer for him and for me is that we would be equally as picky when it comes to how we are clothed in Christ.

Colossians 3:12-14 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

I guess Joshua is on to something because how we are clothed matters to God too. Each day do you clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, forgiveness, patience and love which binds them all together? Some days I do and then other days one or more of these articles is missing. We need to dress ourselves each day with these things because we are holy and dearly loved. We need to learn as God's chosen people to be "picky about our clothes."

"Are My Children Loud?"

Are my children loud? "Not when they are sleeping." Do you ever feel that way about the little people living in your home? Jacob just crawled up behind me and wrapped his arms around my neck. I said, "Are you loud?" He said, "No, I'm a Hawkins!" I told him he was a "Loud Hawkins." Somehow today they have been extremely loud. I can definitely hear my children. I can hear them play, I can hear them sing, I can hear them "argue", I can hear them!!! Even though it can be ear piercing at time, I love to hear the sound of my children's voices. I love that Matthew sings off key, I love that Caleb does impersonations all the time. I love that Joshua can't say his 'r' and 'l' very well, but uses the vocabulary of a 40 year old. I love that Jacob talks like a cave man. (Me want juice. Me take bath. No, night night.) Others cannot appreciate the sound of their voice quite like I can and they don't enjoy it nearly as much, if at all. They are my children! I love to hear them!

I'm so glad my Heavenly Father feels that way about me. I can be loud, I can sing off key, I can impersonate whether it be good or bad the voices of others and I can be demanding like a cave man. "Me want macbook pro,God!" No matter what I say or do He still loves me. Not because of what I say and do, but in spite of it. He longs to hear His children talk to Him, pray to Him, sing praise to Him. He loves the sound of our voice. His love for us is long, it is deep and it is wide. Even when it is ear piercing to others and sounds like the phone conversations of a Charlie Brown cartoon "waaa, waaa, waaa waaa" it is precious music in His ears. He is our Father and He loves to hear His children. Talk to Him!

Ephesians 3:18 "May you be able to feel and understand as all God's children should, how long, how wide, how deep and how high his love really is and to experience this love for yourselves."

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!"

Philippians 2:10 "That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Jacob is the family mimic. He says "whatever" anyone else says, especially his brothers. Each night as we tuck them into bed we take turns praying and Jacob says "me turn, me turn." And this is his prayer..."Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, AMEN." Do you ever feel that way? There are days when I am so exhausted and so emotionally spent that all I can do is cry out His name..."Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!" Oh, but what a powerful name it is. All that we need is defined in that one name "Jesus." The answer to everything is consumed in the name of "Jesus." Who do you need him to be today? JEHOVAH--YAHWEH - the God of your salvation, JEHOVAH-RAPHA - the God your healer, JEHOVAH-JIREH - the God who provides, JEHOVAH-SHALOM - the God who give peace, EL-ROI - the strong one who sees, EL-OLAM - the everlasting God. Take heart...He knows what you need and who you need Him to be. He is all that we need and all that we never knew we needed. Comforting isn't it! Just remember that when you know nothing else and when you are too tired to say or do anything, do the first thing. Call on His name, the sweetest name I know..."Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!"

"Come To Me!"

The first thing that comes to my mind when I here the phrase "come to me" is my crazy little Caleb. He says this all the time in a funny little voice, "Come to me my mommy. Come to me my little Jacob. Come to me!" Recently this phrase spoke to me in a life changing way. Before I left for a conference at the beginning of August I asked the Lord to speak to me and share with me the specific message He had for me. While at the conference I went into the prayer room. (Really cool!) The conference staff had prayed over each attendee's name and the Lord laid on their heart a specific name of God and a verse for each person. My verse was Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." I thought "Well, this is fitting, after all I do have 4 little boys and we do live a  busy life." Little did I know the message He "really" had in store for me. That night my precious roommate gave me a gift. It was a photograph that she had taken, framed with the verse...Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Ironic, Right? Wrong!) Still thinking this must have meant that the Lord wanted me to start taking naps, I pressed on throughout the weekend. The last morning during worship we were to walk down front and take a verse from the foot of the cross. As I walked down I prayed and asked the Lord to truly speak to me through His word and allow me to be touched and changed as a result of my time with Him. At a conference with over 600 women in attendance, I walked down front and picked up a verse. I read it on the way back to my seat and it said...Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Now maybe I'm a slow learner, but I walked away from that weekend feeling like the Lord was telling me that I did too much and I was entitled to some rest. Over the past few weeks what He has revealed to me through this verse has rocked my world. "COME TO ME!" Monica, come to me with your fears, come to me with your worries. Friend, come to me with your sickness, with your sick spouse, with your depression, with your financial struggles, with your marriage, with your children, with your strongholds, with your sins, with your what ifs. "COME TO ME!" So often we spout out in the form of a "prayer" our weariness and our burden and we long for the rest, but we miss the first part. "COME TO ME!" Jesus wants us! Jesus wants ME! He longs for us to come to Him. Are you weary? Are you burdened? Rest is found when we stop trying to carry it all and we "COME TO HIM." So often we seek His hand, not His face. We want results, whereas He wants US! That is where I found my REST! I wake up each morning and I say "Ok, God what do you have for me today?" I seek Him, I long do be with Him, I long to fellowship with Him. And I do not worry about the rest. Yes, I still have cancer; yes, there are days our finances are questionable; yes, there are days when I want to pull my hair out because I am pulled in 100 different directions; and, yes, I can rest in the midst of it all. "Come to me" is only one phrase He uses, but God desires us to approach Him. (Seek my face, follow me, worship me, approach my throne) Rest is found when we answer the call "COME TO ME!"

"What's That Smell?"

We all have smells that remind us of something! Crayons and paste remind me of my kindergarten class. Skin-so-soft reminds me of catching lightning bugs in the evening and being covered from head to toe to avoid what we now call "West Nile Virus." The smell of oranges reminds me of sitting in front of Grammie and Pappy's fireplace in the winter and watching Grammie peel and feed us oranges. Bath and Body Works "Plumeria" reminds me of when Matt and I were dating. The smell of baby lotion takes me back to 4 precious years of my life as I slathered each of my babies from head to toe. Celery and onions and green bean casserole cooking reminds me of Thanksgiving and cinnamon and spruce reminds me of Christmas. We all have those certain smells that take us for a walk down memory lane. Joshua and Caleb are my two boys with super sensitive noses. (Poor Matthew can't smell because that would require breathing through your nose and his allergies prevent that.) They can smell pork chops cooking a block away and anytime they smell Clorox or Pine sol, they want to know who is coming over. Joshua and Caleb walked in from outside the other day and both said, "Hey, I didn't know it was fall already. It smells like fall in here. Yippy, fall is here." It took me a minute to understand where this talk of fall was coming from and then I remembered. I had just changed my wallflower plug-in to pumpkin spice. Now, normally year round I'm an apple girl, but we were all out of apple and fall was getting close so pumpkin spice it was. This smell sparked a memory in my boys. This is the smell of fall! This sensitivity to smell reminded me of a passage of scripture. 2 Corinthians 2:14-15 "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him, For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being save and those who are perishing."  Wow! God has commissioned us to be His fragrance of Christ to the world. It makes me ask a few simple questions. Could that waiter today smell Jesus or a stench? Did those in the line at Walmart get a whiff of Jesus or were they turned off  by the smell? Do my neighbors and friends desire to spend time with me so they can take in that pleasant aroma or do they turn their nose and walk the other way? We are the aroma of Christ to those being saved and those who are perishing. I'm sure you have heard "You may be the only Jesus they ever see." Try this one "You may be the only Jesus they ever smell." Have you ever noticed that sights are not has repulsive as smells? It is hard to get a nasty smell out of the lining of your nose. However, a pleasant smell makes you want to linger and breathe deeply. I want to be such a fresh fragrance of Christ to this world that they long to breathe in the aroma of Jesus. I want to live is such a way that people chase after me and ask "What's That Smell?"